From: wherever@primenet.com Date sent: Fri, 29 Aug 1997 10:09:24 -0700 To: submissions@x-philes.com Subject: story re-submission Um, I hate to ask, but could you guys do me a huge favor and archive this version instead? Many thanks. The Way That She Said His Name by Wherever NC-17 S, R Mulder/Scully romance Scully decides that the time is right. Now. My thanks to Lydia Bower, Kim Berglund, Karen Rasch and all the other superstars of XF erotica who have inspired me. I lift a toast of red wine in your honor. Standard disclaimers apply. Scully and Mulder belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions and Twentieth Century Fox, blah blah blah. Send all comments to wherever@primenet.com X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X The Way That She Said His Name It wasn't a time when their lives were in danger. She hadn't just plucked him out of the hands of the shadowy forces that conspired against them. He hadn't just saved her from yet another psychotic killer. No danger threatened; no doom lurked; no disease lay in wait. It was just a time when she couldn't stand to sit this close to him and not touch him, any longer. Things were actually relatively peaceful for once. They sat in her apartment, discussing the details of a case as they had a thousand times before. Mulder's face was close to hers, invading her space as usual, his hazel eyes flashing as he recounted the mysteries of yet another X File. But this time she wasn't listening. Her brain had ceased making sense of the words that he was saying and instead she was concentrating on the movement of his lips, and their nearness to her. Somehow she had lost the ability to ignore the fact that his face was inches from hers, an ability that had kept her afloat over the years that they had worked so closely together. Tonight it had abandoned her utterly. "Scully? Is something the matter?" He had realized that her attention was no longer on what he was saying. But he had not at all expected what she did next. Taking his hand in hers, she cradled her face in it and gazed up at him. The look in Scully's eyes was something quite unlike anything Mulder had ever seen there before. This wasn't the first time she had touched him, of course. But this was something entirely different. She looked at him not with compassion, or relief, or sympathy or pain. What he did see there made it all of a sudden very difficult to breathe. Whatever it was they had been discussing was very far away now as he watched her slowly place the tip of one of his fingers in her mouth. The sensation of her lips and tongue touching his skin was more than he could stand. Mulder had to close his eyes. As many times that he had dreamt of this, as many times as he had pictured what it would be like in his mind, the reality was almost too much. So he felt rather than saw her move into his arms, the length of her body pressing against his, the searing warmth of her lips on his throat. He placed his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her away. Opening his eyes, he stared into hers. "Scully . . . what . . . " "It's time, Mulder. I can't wait any longer. I can't sit there with you so close to me day after day and ignore what's between us. I can't wait . . . " her eyes begin to fill with tears, "I can't wait until something horrible happens to let you know how I feel, or worse, never . . . " She couldn't finish her sentence. Scully turned away from him and buried her face in her fists, willing the tears away, willing the confusion away, willing HIM away. This was impossible, of course; even when he wasn't near her, he was always with her. She had long ago stopped wondering where she ended and he began. What parts of her that had been stolen and destroyed by evil had been filled with Mulder; at the most desperate and alone times in her life he was the one that had been there to hold her. He was the one that had been at her side to remind her that life was worth living. When she had all but let go it had been his voice that had called her back. She herself had stood over him when she thought that he would be the one to leave her, willing him to live with all her might. Her barren body still had the power to keep Mulder alive, many times over. It often seemed to her that the only reason that they still lived, that it was still possible for them to be sitting here, in this softly lit room, was because of their mutual will to keep the other alive. To bridge this final gap seemed not only desirable but ultimately necessary. To think for even a second that he didn't believe the same way was killing her. It seemed that her worst fears, the ones that had kept her from making such a move for so long, were being confirmed. Until she felt Mulder's hands on her, his strong arms pulling her close, his fingers tangling in her hair and pulling her face close to his. When she opened her eyes, she saw that he was staring at her. To her surprise, tears were streaming down his face as well. "Scully" was all he could manage to say. His lips descended on her face and she felt him greedily suck the tears away. A choked sound escaped from his throat and she realized he was laughing and crying at the same time. Suddenly he pulled back, holding her arms in his hands firmly, almost painfully. "Scully, I . . . " His eyes darkened and a sudden intensity took fire in them. "Scully. I. Love. You." Each word was spoken with a fierce determination to express what had gone unspoken for so long. He didn't let go of her or ease his grip a bit, just continued to stare into her eyes. She stared back, but was unable to speak. This was more than she'd expected, more than she'd hoped. She hadn't really known what to expect from him when she had pressed her body against his. She just knew that she couldn't wait any longer, couldn't stay on this side of the space between them any longer. "Mulder." He said nothing, just returned her gaze and waited. "Mulder, please. Please make love to me." He loosened his grip as if to free his hands to pull her closer. In that moment she rose suddenly, and though she was shaking, walked as steadily as she could to her bedroom. Scully slipped out of her clothes in a few quick movements and laid down on the bed on her back, her arms at her sides, her eyes shut. She was scared, very scared, and she knew Mulder was too. But the time had come to take this step forward, and there was no turning back. She heard movements in the other room, heard footsteps approaching, and then the noises ceased. She opened her eyes to just a slit, and in the darkness she could make out the silhouette of his form in her doorway. He just stood there. He must be looking at me, she thought, but his face was in the shadows. She shut her eyes tight, wondering what he thought of her. Then after an interminable silence, Scully felt the side of the bed shift down as he sat beside her. Another endless eon passed while she waited. Finally she opened her eyes and looked at Mulder. He was just sitting there, staring at her, not moving. "What is it, Mulder? What's the matter?" "Oh, Scully . . . It's just that I never thought that. . . " She stopped his words by taking one of his hands in her own. She placed it on her neck and began to move it up and down the length of her body. He watched her movements intently. The feel of her skin under his hand was so soft, so sweet . . . it threatened to push him over into the abyss that he had come to the edge of when she first touched him on the couch. What this woman did to him was beyond lust, beyond desire. Mulder felt as if he were drowning in her. Perhaps that was why he had never dared to make the move that she finally had. Some part of him was afraid, afraid of the depth of the feelings that he had for her. Afraid to cross this final chasm between them. But she was showing him the way over, the way into her. She felt his hands begin to move of their own power, stroking her skin softly. Scully let go and let him fully explore what she was offering to him. Even though she had initiated this, she couldn't believe that it was actually happening, that she lay naked in bed while Fox Mulder sat next to her running his hands over her body, over her arms, down her stomach, across her thighs . . . His touch started to become more deliberate and firm. Her body began to move in rhythm to his caresses, small moans escaping her lips. Scully knew that he was watching her as he touched her. The sense of vulnerability that this gave her excited her, and this was not at all abated by the complete trust she had in him. She felt his fingers trace patterns over her breasts, and then her nipples. Then she felt the warm wetness of his mouth close over one of them and begin to suckle. Her whole body exploded with warmth, radiating out in ripples from the center. Mulder moved his head from her breast, and realized that his dear Special Agent Dana Katherine Scully had flushed completely red, all over. Her pale, translucent skin could not hide the heat of her arousal. He could see it even in the shadowed light from the hall. Smiling to himself, he lowered his head to her nipple to take it in his mouth again, nibbling and sucking it and delighting in the sounds that this elicited from her. He intensified his attentions by placing his hand between her legs and stroking her there, at first softly, moving up and down lightly over her warm wet flesh. One of her hands was grasping at the back of his head, the other holding the bedsheet in a desperate grasp. He realized then that he wanted to watch her come, wanted to see Scully's face as she succumbed to what he was doing to her. He moved a finger in and out of her, feeling his own face become hot as her breath started coming in tortured gasps. She licked and bit at her full, red lips, making Mulder wished he could do the same, but he held himself back. "Yes, that's it, come on, that's a good girl." He used both hands on her, one caressing the insides of her thighs and pulling at her outer lips as the other continued to move back and forth over the inner ones. "That's my baby, my angel. Come on, come now, sweetheart." The tone of Mulder's voice as he urged her to come was like another caress, added to those of his hands touching the most sensitive parts of her body, and now, the incredible movements of his lips and tongue were there as well, sending sensations writhing to every edge of her body. Scully felt as though she were falling through the bed, falling, falling as she came and came and came. All the blood rushed to her head and rang in her ears like waves pounding on a surf. For a moment Scully couldn't see, but then the roaring in her ears ceased and she felt his mouth on hers, his hands touching her face sweetly. It was only then that she realized that Mulder was truly kissing her for the first time. She wrapped her arms around his neck and returned his affection, opening her mouth wider to admit his tongue. This was even more amazing than anything he had done to her so far. Scully would have been happy to do nothing more than lie here forever in Mulder's arms, kissing him deeply, feeling the velvet caresses of his lips and tongue on hers. How many times had she stared at that mouth, that full lower lip, longing to touch it, to feel his mouth on hers? And here he was in her bed, doing just that. But she wanted return his attentions, to do to him what he had done to her. Scully sat up on the bed, pushing Mulder down into her former place. She opened the buttons of his shirt, lowering her head to pepper kisses all along the length of his torso, alternating them with bites and licks, taking pleasure in the salty, musky taste of his skin and the way that he closed his eyes and groaned when she ‘accidentally' brushed over his groin with the underside of her arm. She ran the surfaces of her breasts over the warm skin of his chest, her eyes intent on his face. She loved the way that he looked, his beautiful lips tightening with the pleasure that she was giving him. Just staring into the face of his arousal made her own quicken inside her again. Then his eyes opened and he turned on his side, pulling her down with him and kissing her again deeply, his hardness thrusting against her thigh as if it would break through the cloth to get to her. He had to be free of these clothes. Scully's hands tugged helplessly at his shirt as he struggled to loosen the buckle and pull off his pants. Before he was even free of his underwear she was grasping at him through them, making it even more impossible for him to win the fight with the garments. Finally Mulder pushed her hand away, stood up, and pulled all his clothing off in one hurried movement. He lowered himself quickly to the bed and covered her body with his. The first touch of their bodies fully on each other was electric, almost too hot to bear. She opened her legs and wrapped them around him, her hands grabbing at his back as if to push her inside him. He pulled back slightly, holding back from entering her for a moment. Instead he rubbed his long body sinuously over hers, burying his face in her neck and tracing his tongue along the side of her jaw and the delicate parts of her ear. She ran her hands and arms all down the length of his back, delighting in the smooth skin laid over hard muscle, the soft cool flesh of his behind. He raised up to watch Scully's face as he rubbed the length of his shaft through her swollen folds. She did not disappoint him, biting her lips and grinding her hips up towards him. Mulder wanted to feel those lips close around him. Lifting himself up, he moved toward her head slowly and gently pushed his erection near her face. She caught it in her hand, tilting her head up to kiss him and lick him, to suckle the head and caress the shaft. He watched as she opened her lips wider to take him into her mouth, her hands moving around to take hold of his rear and push him deeper into her hungrily. He could see that Scully's eyes never left his, staring at him in such a way that he though he might go over the edge. No. Not like this. He pulled away from that delicious mouth before it could take him over, and lowered himself back down over her. Her hands reached up, caressing over his shoulders, pulling him down to her, opening herself up to him. Her eyes looked up at him in a pleading way. "Please. Now, Mulder. I need you inside of me now." He managed to flash her his famous cocky grin, wondering if she was aware that he was about to explode at any second. "Anything for you, Scully." He fitted himself carefully in her at first, then put all of his weight into moving deeply into her. The pleasure of that first thrust caught them both by surprise and they cried out in unison. At first all he could think of was the way she felt, tight and smooth and soft and wet all at once, and he fucked her fast and hard, blind to anything else but the sensation of moving inside her over and over. He shoved a hand into her hair and pulled her head back so he could bury his face in her neck, grunting and gasping, even as her cries rang in his ear. The sweet smell of her skin under his face was addictive and Mulder could feel the power of an orgasm bearing down on him. He stopped himself suddenly. He didn't want this to be over yet. Perhaps there would be a thousand tomorrows, but at this time all he wanted was to stay here with Scully forever, inside her, in this safe place that they had woven out of skin and warmth, sighs and shudders and darkness. Her lips were parted and she was breathing shallowly through them, her faced flushed and sweaty, her eyes half closed and looking up at him. All he ever needed was there for him, staring at him out of those fathomless depths. Mulder began to move again, his hips thrusting lazily but firmly, rising out of her slowly only to plunge back in again hard at the end of the stroke, making her gasp, continuing to stare into her eyes intensely. She broke his gaze, running a hand through the hair on the back of his head and pulling him in close to her, wrapping her arms and legs around him tightly. As he rocked them both in a steady rhythm, his mouth busy at the soft skin of her neck and shoulder, she whispered in his ear a name he hadn't heard from her lips in ages. Her voice came in breathy gasps "Fox. Oh. . .Fox. . ." as she said his name over and over again. It came back to him in a rush then. Why he had made her stop calling him that, years ago. Why, in the darkness of a stakeout car, he had insisted that she call him Mulder then and for all time after. She had said his first name then, the word rolling out of her mouth like a caress. In his exhausted state, sitting next to this incredible woman, it was all he could do to ask her not to say it again. For if he had to hear his name spoken by her one more time, in that throaty and sensual voice of hers, he would have had no choice but to tear her clothes off and have her right there in that car, for Tooms and all the world to see. Using only their last names was one of the tricks he had employed to keep her at a distance, to keep himself from thinking of her in that way. But over the years she had crept into his heart, had become so much more than that to him - his best friend, his soulmate, his savior, and the only person that he trusted. And now she lay beneath him, flushed and sweaty, gasping his name, the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. His angel, his Scully, his love . . . his Dana. It was fitting that now, when she meant everything in the world to him, that she should be the one to bring them together like this. Their last names had become like endearments, like an inside joke between them. He had heard Scully say the name "Mulder" many times over in ways that were almost as intimate. Yet they were nothing compared to the way that, now, she moaned the name "Fox" into his ear. It was like a shock to his senses, and then like a beacon tugging him even deeper into the world she had created for them. And then the sound of his name vibrating in her throat and sighing in his ear, the way that her hands pulled at his back helplessly, the way she was grasping him inside, squeezing him and milking his thrust, was just too much. He slid a hand underneath her behind and used the leverage to slam himself deeply into her. She cried out once, and then fell silent. He came then, his eyes squeezed shut and his head thrown back, waves of ecstacy pouring over his body, calling out "Dana" over and over as he spasmed. Finally he shuddered to a stop, exhausted, and opened his eyes. He was surprised to see that the room was now filled with light. In her desire to see his face as he came, she had somehow managed to snake her arm out and switch on the light, and had been staring at him the whole time, her cerulean eyes filled with wonder. He looked down at her and smiled, brushing the red-gold hair away from her face. She didn't return his smile, just continued to stare at him. Finally, a grin crept onto her face. "I love you, Fox Mulder." X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X "Falling, falling, falling down. Look yourself in the eyes before you drown" - The Indigo Girls