From: Amy Schatz Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: NEW: Sleep 1/1 Date: Sat, 11 May 96 02:31:18 PDT So, it's 2 am, "Wetwired" was on tonight. Great episode! So I thought I'd post this now, since I'm still half awake. DISLCAIMER: Sorry, CC, I'm just too tired to say I don't own M&S. In this mental state, I actually think I do. NOTES: This is just a little story that popped into my head when I heard a very cool song. It's not a romance, really. It does have UST that is *maybe* only slightly more than on the real show. THANKS: Melissa and Molly thanks a lot! CREDIT: Without Garbage's song, 'Sleep' this story wouldn't have been written. So, thanks guys! There's also a snippet of a Lisa Loeb song in here. COMMENTS: Write to me. I'd love to hear from you... Boy, I should post all my stories this late - really cuts down on my comments... =========================================== SLEEP by Amy Schatz Sioux Falls, South Dakota Sleepy Six Motel 1:44 am Mulder found a black and white "Zorro" movie, turned the sound down low, and closed his eyes. He was using an old, weathered trick to try and get himself to fall asleep, even though he knew it probably wouldn't work. This last case had been awful for him, and the worst part was that he didn't really know why. He and Scully had been called out to Sioux Falls to help the local police track down a killer who had a taste for young boys, ranging in age from nine to thirteen. Every time they found a new body - a young life cut short - he could barely stand to look at it long enough to see any evidence. It wasn't that Mulder was normally into gore, but usually he could hold onto his lunch while investigating a crime scene. However, with this case, he had not. At least three times out of the five crime scenes they had investigated, Mulder had taken one look at the body of the young boy, and politely excused himself to throw up. He didn't know if Scully had actually seen him, but he knew that she had noticed his odd behavior, and he was wondering if she was going to ask him about it. Rolling over onto his side, he pulled the covers up to his bare shoulders and sighed. He should feel good, really. They had caught the killer earlier this day, and he had been sent to prison to await a trial. They had even saved the life of the latest boy that the killer had taken. He *should* feel good, proud. But he didn't. He felt scared, and confused, and totally incapable of the ability to sleep. He really wished that Scully would come to talk to him. * * * Scully lay in bed in the adjoining room, the radio playing softly, and listened to the sounds of the TV in Mulder's room. Sighing, she turned her gaze to the window and the moonlight streaming inside through the white blinds. She knew that something had been bothering Mulder during this case - something that she wasn't sure she had the right to help him with, and something that scared her. He had acted so strangely during the whole investigation: showing up bedraggled, clothes rumpled, running away from crime scenes...and she was sure heard him throwing up after they found one particularly gruesome body. Of course, child homicide was perhaps the most heinous of all crimes, but she had never known Mulder to act in this manner. Occasionally he would cringe at the more terrible things they would see, and he would often show up to work wearing clothes he had obviously slept in after a restless night. But he was always professional when they were on a case. He had not been on this one. Scully wanted to ask him about it, but she wasn't sure if her concern was welcome. Mulder was a very private person, and he didn't let many people inside to see the real him. In fact, she was probably the only person he had ever let inside. Suddenly, a line from a song on the radio caught her attention... <...I don't want to be left behind, but sometimes I'm left by you...> How true that was. Mulder was forever running off without her, and it made her crazy. Scully was desperately afraid of losing him - of getting a call late one night from a police officer who would tell her that he was sorry, but her partner was dead. She had many nightmares about that very circumstance, and she always woke from them shaking, breathless, and wanting to call Mulder. The song continued on, and Scully had to smile at how accurate it was. <...I stretched my toes to the end of the couch, Cause my back, it was aching from sleeping...> She wondered how many lonely nights Mulder spent on his couch watching an old movie. How many nights did he wish to hold someone close? How many nights did he yearn to love someone who would love him for himself? And did he ever wish that that someone was her? A sound from the other room told her that Mulder was still awake. She could hear him tossing and turning, and the soft sounds of an old movie. Shaking her head, she grinned ruefully. It was stupid, really. If she wanted to go and talk to him, ask him if he was all right, comfort him, why shouldn't she? Why should she be wary or afraid? After all, this was Mulder, her best friend, the man she loved. Yes, she had stumbled upon that information a long time ago, and it didn't bother her in the least. In fact, it comforted her. Scully liked the idea of having someone to love, to treasure, and to protect. And for her, the only person that filled all of those qualifications was Fox Mulder. Taking a deep breath, she made her decision, and got out of bed. Grabbing the radio, thinking it might soothe him, she walked to the adjoining door and softly knocked on it. When there was no answer, she quietly opened the door, and stepped inside. It was an unsaid promise between them to always keep the adjoining door open - in case of an emergency. Scully padded over to the TV and turned it off. Then, after lowering the volume of the radio just a bit, she set it on top of the TV and walked back over to the bed. "Mulder?" she asked quietly. He was on his side and didn't move at the sound of her voice. "Mulder, I thought you might want some company." a voice inside warned her. "You don't have to do this, Scully." The room had been so quiet that the sound of his voice scared her a little. She recovered quickly, and moved to sit down on the edge of the bed. "Do you want to talk about it?" And then he turned over to face her, and she saw the misery and the horror in his soulful hazel eyes. "I don't know what was wrong with me on this case, Scully. Every time I saw one of those boys..." he trailed off and shuddered. She reached out to gently touch his bare shoulder, and marveled at how soft his skin was. As she looked at him, looking much like a little boy himself, she wondered if he knew how special he was to her. And then, as she looked at him, she finally understood what had been plaguing him during this case. When he looked at all those young boys taken too early from their families and siblings, taken away from love and happiness, he unconsciously saw himself. In a way, the young boy that was Fox had been killed the night Samantha had disappeared. And in a way, the man he was now, was simply the body found later. The young boy known as Fox had been killed when his parents blamed him for Samantha's disappearance, and when his father was cruel to him, and when his mother took her love away. They had killed Fox with their unkindness. Scully took in a deep breath and held back hot, stinging tears. She would not let him remain dead. She decided right then that she would bring him back to life. And as Mulder looked into Scully's eyes, as realization dawned on her, he understood as well. It was almost as if she had given him the answer by some strange form of osmosis. "Oh, God, Scully..." he said, mortified and even a little more scared. She knew that he finally understood and reached out to take his hand. "It's okay, Mulder. You'll be all right. I'll help you through this. We'll do it together." Mulder looked up at this woman, his red-haired angel, his fierce protector, so beautiful in the pale moonlight, and smiled faintly. "Yes," he said, conviction in his voice, strength that she had given him. "Yes, we will..." Scully smiled and was about to get up to go back to her room, when Mulder's voice stopped her. "Scully?" She turned back and found that he had moved onto his back, and his eyes were wide. "Yes?" "Would you stay with me tonight? I really need to sleep, and I have a feeling I'll be able to if you're with me." Scully felt a great warmth spread outwards from her heart to all her limbs as she nodded. "Of course, Mulder. I'd be happy to stay with you." She moved to turn the radio off, but again his voice stopped her. "No, leave it on." She did as he asked, then walked over to the bed, slipping under the covers. Once she was under them, she felt Mulder move back onto his side facing her, and slip his arms around her. Sighing in contentment, she wrapped her arms around his waist, and nestled up close to him, burying her face in the hollow of his shoulder. "Thank you, Scully," he said, sleep already evident in his voice. Scully smiled, and smoothed his hair away from his forehead. "You're welcome, Mulder. Now try and sleep. Okay?" "Sure, Scully. As long as you're with me, I can do anything..." She grinned. "That's funny. I always thought it was the other way around," she said, knowing he was already asleep. Then, she corrected herself. "Maybe both of us are right." Tightening her hold on Mulder, Scully closed her eyes and fell asleep to the sounds of a soft song... T H E E N D