Date sent: Sat, 17 Jan 1998 00:22:54 -0500 From: nlemie@PO-Box.McGill.CA (The Dragon Lady) Subject: New: Distraction (1/1) by The Dragon Lady (NC-17) Okay for atxc and Gossamer. Anywhere else, you'll have to get my written permission to archive. Disclaimer: Fox Mulder and Dana Scully don't belong to me. It's a good thing, too, 'cause if they did, I'd make them do stuff like they are doing below. Instead, they belong to the great god, Chris Carter, and his cohorts at Ten Thirteen Productions and Twentieth Century Fox Corporation. Characters are used without permission, and without monetary gain of any kind. No copyright infringement is intended. The pair just needs to talk about some things to let off steam, and since CC seems bent on not letting them do that, I found a more... er... fun alternative. Title: Distraction (Beautiful Release) Author: The Dragon Lady Rating: NC-17 Category: VR Key words: MSR Spoilers: Season 5 up to and including Kitsunegari Summary: It'd kind of give it away, so I prefer to say nothing, other than this is one of those things which will never happen on the show, but that we kinda wish did. Author's note: I was sitting there listening to one song morph into the next in my CD player when this story suddenly hit me. I blame it on that tiny bit of alcohol I had (really, it was only one small glass!). Well, it's NC-17 so most people won't mind, right? ;) Unlike my friend Rhoni, I don't have the ability to create beautiful poetry (well, nothing I'd publish here anyway... any poem I write is too personal for that) so I had to resort to using words already out there. You'll understand when you see it. If not, you can always refer to the addendum at the end of this story. Distraction (Beautiful Release) by The Dragon Lady (nlemie@po-box.mcgill.ca) He could hear her typing away at her portable computer, stopping occasionally to leaf through a folder, then return to the keyboard to make another entry, or add another paragraph. He listened to the uneven rhythm of her fingers hitting the keys, concentrating on the staccato sounds as she alternated between shorter words and longer ones. It felt familiar. It was something he knew, and it helped relax him. He was starting to drift off. But somehow, the typing was just enough to keep him awake, despite his best efforts, so he decided instead to concentrate on the music she was playing in the background. It wasn't very loud, but he'd heard this before, so he could easily piece together the words to the song. "and when we're done soul searching as we carried the weight and died for the cause is misery made beautiful right before our eyes will mercy be revealed or blind us where we stand" He couldn't take it anymore. The song tore through his mind and broke his heart all over again. It was too fresh in his mind. Too clear how he'd sat by her bedside, watching her waste away as she once again sacrificed herself so that he might be spared from going to jail. He curled up on his side, keeping his back to the door and pushing his face into the pillow, hoping to muffle the sobs. She didn't need to hear this. She'd gone through too much. First her near escape from death, then Emily, and finally this latest case where he'd disregarded her warnings and fallen right into another pusher's trap. He'd almost killed her. Again. It was too much to take, and he curled up into a fetal position, pulling back from the pillow only long enough to gasp for air before burying his face once again in the now wet material. He was too wrapped up in his own misery to even hear the typing stop or her chair pull back from the desk in her room. His closed eyes didn't notice the difference in illumination as she slowly pushed open the connecting door so that the light shone into his room. It was his ears that gave it away. The music got louder, and as the last two lines of the song played behind her, he felt her presence in the room. "will the change come while we're waiting everyone is waiting" The tape player was silent as it moved from one song to another, and all he heard was her soft breathing and the muffled echo of her feet along the carpet as she walked towards his bed. At first, all he felt was her hand carefully brushing the hair back from his forehead, searching for signs of sickness or whatever she did when she touched him that way. He lay perfectly still, hoping that she would think he was sleeping. The last thing he wanted was to have her worrying about him again. But as her hand moved lower, caressing his cheek, he knew that she had felt the wet tracks travelling along the side of his face and it was too late to hide them from her. He simply took a deep breath and sighed, waiting to see what would come next. Would it be the eternal question asking how he was feeling? Would it be a harsher word, berating him of his weakness? Or would she simply leave him to his own tears and anguish, returning to her room to finish the report? She did none of the above. She let her hand trail along the side of his cheek, rubbing lightly along the shadow of a beard present. And then she did the unexpected. She pulled back the covers and slipped in. He couldn't believe it, and the only thing that made him register that this wasn't a dream was that he felt the mattress shift at the same time as the next song on the tape began. "Spend all your time waiting for that second chance for a break that would make it okay. There's always one reason to feel not good enough and it's hard at the end of the day" Her arms wrapped their way around his waist and pulled him to her, allowing him to feel the warmth against his back. A comforting gesture. Not unlike something a friend or even a parent would do for a small child. But it wasn't comfort Mulder was feeling. He could feel himself falling, no longer swimming against the current but letting go, waiting to see where the current and Scully would take him. "I need some distraction. oh beautiful release memory seeps from my veins. let me be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight" He felt her face press against the side of his, rubbing gently. It was relaxing, warming, and at the same time left him with a tingling at the base of his spine. He took in a breath, unsure how to react. It had been a long time since he'd been held like this, and never by his partner, a woman who'd done more for him than anyone in his life. She moved a leg up and round his, cocooning his legs between hers, and at the same time he felt a soft velvety heat pressed against the base of his neck. His eyes snapped open at the sensation. Scully was kissing him. Or at least, she was kissing part of him. He couldn't resist his reflexes, and arched his neck slightly forward and to the side, giving her more access... more skin to cover. "In the arms of an angel fly away from here from this dark cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear you are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie you're in the arms of the angel. may you find some comfort there" He groaned as she continued to cover the base of his neck with slow, even kisses. He tried to shift, to turn towards her, but she held him tight until he relaxed and stopped moving. Her hands then released his waist and began wandering. Her left hand slid up and down his chest, feeling the rises and dips of muscles and bone, while her right hand moved lower, splaying itself on his lower abdomen, fingers lightly tickling the edge of curly hair below. Mulder shuddered and took a long breath, overcome by this sudden exploration. Again, he realized that it had been a long time since someone had held him like this. Lovingly... Caring... Almost with reverence. He again tried to turn to face her, and this time she didn't resist him, choosing to place her upper hand on his back while returning her lower hand to his waist. He opened his mouth to speak and stopped himself short when he saw her head shake. He stopped for a second, wondering why she didn't want him to talk, then shook his own head, willing her to listen. He opened his mouth to try again, but this time her lower hand snaked its way up to his lips and pressed two fingers, silencing him. Again, she shook her head. The message was now very clear. She did not want any words. "so tired of the straight line and everywhere you turn there's vultures and thieves at your back and the storm keeps on twisting. you keep on building the lies that you make up for all that you lack" He nodded, bowing to her wishes yet not understanding what she had in mind. He saw her smile, and saw her eyes lower as she returned to her previous ministration. The hand on his back pulled him closer while her other hand worked its way back down, caressing his chest and stomach, stopping to play with the sparse hair there before moving lower, and yet lower, as he felt one finger after another slip behind the waistband of his grey silk boxers he'd worn to sleep. He felt his breath catch as the heat of her hand approached him, caressing the silky softness of one hip, then the other, before zeroing in on the intended target and wrapping itself around his shaft. The world tilted, shattered, and then reformed to comprise of only Scully's hands as she traced lazy paths along the length of him. He took in a shuddering breath and held it, worried that if he let it go the world as he knew it would disappear. Her other hand, which had simply rested against his back began working its way across his muscles, pushing, rubbing, pressing the knots of his back into oblivion. She worked her way upwards, towards his neck, massaging away the knots before tangling her fingers into the short, curlier wisps at his nape. Mulder felt completely held by her, protected and encircled by her presence, her warmth, and her caring. And her need. It was now quite obvious to him what she was doing, and though he didn't know why, he wasn't about to stop her. He'd dreamed of this moment, gone over it in a multitude of ways through his head. He wasn't about to tell her no. "it don't make no difference escaping one last time it's easier to believe in this sweet madness this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees" Her fingers tightened around his nape and pulled his head forward, inching him ever closer to her mouth, open and inviting, waiting for him. He didn't resist and didn't assist, leaving her to do all the work. She'd somehow realized that he'd needed help, comfort, caring, and perhaps even love, and was giving it to him -- no strings attached. Sweet, sweet sensations as her lips glided over his, asking for entrance but not demanding it. He opened freely, more than glad to oblige, and felt another gasp emanate from his throat as her tongue slid hotly into his mouth. She stroked him gently with her tongue, allowing him a chance for the passion to build before she charged more freely, covering every square inch of his mouth, exploring every spot. He responded with equal passion, feeling the blood in him stir to life as he tried to push her onto her back, wanting to take over the exploration. She broke the kiss and shook her head lightly, pushing him back down onto the bed. He watched her with a confused look as she tried to relay her message. Frustrated, he puckered his face up lightly in question, wondering what exactly she wanted. She didn't reply in words, but rather held him down with one hand while the other reached for the boxers and began sliding them down off his hips. Suddenly he understood and nodded, relaxing back against the mattress as a smile lit her face. She was telling him she wanted to do all the work. This was for him. Mulder had to admit that this held quite a bit of promise. In fact, if he allowed himself to let some thoughts surface, this was even something he'd fantasized about some time ago. So he let his hands drop to his side and left her to her ministrations, trying his best to lay still as she managed to finish pulling the boxers off his ankles. She moved away slightly, and when he turned to gaze at her form next to him, he realized that the movement under the covers was of her taking off her t-shirt and cotton sleeping boxers. It only took a moment, and then she was again next to him, one hand returning to his shaft, squeezing and caressing as it jumped to life right under her. Mulder took another shaky breath and groaned lightly, overcome by the feel of her touching him this way. He managed to open his eyes, even though he hadn't been aware of closing them, and looked to see her face hovering just above his. Her expression was one of mirth, and a devilish gleam could be seen in the faint light. He felt her shift as she moved one leg over him, straddling him as she sat back on his thighs. Both her hands were now massaging his chest, tracing and soothing each muscle as her lower body rocked back and forth, teasing his erection to greater heights. Mulder couldn't help himself as his hips began to push upwards to meet her forward rocking, and he slid his hands up her arms to the elbows, where he squeezed gently and held on -- a sign of their connection. Yet again, she smiled, and lowered her upper body towards him, giving him a chance to see the tantalizingly slow way she was reaching for him. He gave up trying to wait and lifted his head to make contact, thrusting his tongue into the depths of her sweet, inviting mouth. And connected in this way, he pulled her head down until he was back on the pillow, kissing her with a fierceness he'd rarely exhibited as his hips started pumping a little faster. She pulled away, breathless, and he took the opportunity to reach up and capture the nipple of a nearby breast. She let out a strangled gasp and stopped rocking as his mouth connected with her breast, frozen in ecstasy as he suckled and bit, hanging on for dear life as her upper body still swayed lightly. Without him knowing how, she pulled away and grabbed his head with both her hands, lowering it back to the pillow and holding it there as she shook her head once again and lowered to give him another kiss. No, she would not accept that. This was for him. All for him, and he truly understood it now. He would not try again. He felt one of her hands wrap around his erection, testing its hardness while she looked at his face to see his reaction. His mouth opened as his expression contorted itself into one of pleasure/pain. He was ready, more than ready, and as she let go of him, he released the breath he had been forced to hold. It was a good thing that he'd taken another breath, for she lifted herself on her knees and grabbed him, positioning him as she lowered herself over him, around him. He pushed into her, his hips suddenly having a mind of their own. They were joined, and she sat back, letting her weight push him a fraction of an inch further as she rested against his hips, preventing him from thrusting by the strategical way she'd placed her weight. He remained there, motionless, looking deep into her eyes as she lowered her mouth to his, mimicking with her tongue what he was doing with a lower part of his anatomy. "in the arms of an angel, fly away from here from this dark cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear you are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie you're in the arms of the angel, may you find some comfort there you're in the arms of the angel, may you find some comfort there" He felt her move her hips from left to right once, as if testing his reaction. He groaned loudly and bucked his hips as best he could, grabbing onto her arms for dear life as every instinct in him screamed to touch her. It was then that she started to move. With her torso bent forward and resting against his, she lifted her hips and pulled away partially before letting her muscles relax so she fell back on him, with him driving into her once again. She did this again, and again, keeping a slow, even pace. Mulder closed his eyes as the light in the room suddenly seemed to overload his senses. He concentrated on the feeling on his skin. The way her hair was tickling the area just above his collarbone, how her hot breath rolled over his left pectoral muscle, leaving a wake of hot, then cold air that made his nipple grow harder by the second. The way her breasts were pressed against his ribs and lifted and fell with each pull and drop. How her stomach alternatively pressed or let go of his abdomen, tantalizing him with only light touches. And how her heels were pressing against his thighs as she fought for more leverage from her kneeling position. He let go of her arms and placed his hands on both sides of her head, pulling her up slightly and enjoying the feel of skin rubbing against skin as she travelled upwards. He held her face near his, trying to see her eyes which were obscured by the curtain of red around her face and contenting himself with her breath mingling with his as she continued to pump up and down, farther and nearer. Always at the same, agonisingly slow pace. Mulder pulled her face to his, closing the gap between their mouths as he let his tongue explore her bottom lip, her teeth, the inside of her cheeks, before plunging in further, in a frenzied rhythm that he hoped would convey exactly what he wanted. She pulled back, slightly out of breath from her exertions, and looked into his eyes, searching. Finding what she wanted, she nodded and began to increase the pace, letting out a surprised yelp as he started thrusting up with his hips to complement her movements. And in the background, the music continued to play as a new song drifted in from the other room. "unravel me, a distant cord, on the outside is forgotten a constant need to get along, and the animal awakens and all I feel is black and white" She had started to make some soft sounds now, somewhere between a sigh and a moan, each one slightly louder than the last as the rhythm increased, taking on a frenzied pace. Mulder felt his insides tighten, a sure sign that he was fast approaching release. A sudden feeling overpowered him. He needed to have her feel the same way. He knew she craved the same release, but was unsure as to whether she could reach it on her own. He had to give this to her. Letting one hand wander down, he reached the point where they were joined, blindly trying to follow her body as she continued to lift and lower herself, hoping to find the hidden folds and the potential for release that they held. He managed to work his way to near her core, searching for the right spot and smiling as he felt a thunderous groan from her. He'd found the spot. Now all he had to do was hang on and give her his own brand of massage. "the road is long, the memory slides to the whole of my undoing put aside, I put away I push it back to get through each day and all I feel is black and white and I'm wound up small and tight and I don't know who I am" He felt her insides stirring, coming to life as they began to twitch slightly, preparing for the greater wave of pulsing and yelled a cry of the victorious as she suddenly took in a shuddering breath and stilled, completely enveloped in the way her body now pulsed around him. He smiled, conscious of having given her satisfaction, then groaned as her constant milking rhythm overtook him and he lost himself in the fire that broke through his loins, spreading up and outwards, pumping, pushing a part of him into her. Hot, liquid pleasure emptying him, taking his soul and placing it deep within her. "everybody loves you when you're easy everybody hates when you're a bore everyone is waiting for your entrance so don't disappoint them" The music was drowned out as his blood roared through his ears, and he could only gasp for air, desperate as a sailor fallen into the ocean. He feared his heart would stop -- the tattoo it had taken on was too frenzied to continue. And yet, as she slowly sank back onto him, he felt a rush of warmth and calm. Without any thought, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him, so that not a hair could have separated them. He turned them to their sides, still joined, and brushed away some of her locks, which were stubbornly clinging to her sweaty forehead and cheeks. With renewed vigour, he squeezed her tightly, reveling in the way her chest was pressing against his as her lungs still fought for much-needed air. He placed his face against her hair, inhaling the scent of her shampoo and her sweat, mingled into a bittersweet fragrance. It struck him that he still didn't understand why she'd done this. He wanted to ask, but the way she pressed her face into the side of his neck seemed to indicate that she wasn't willing to discuss it. Perhaps she'd only really meant to comfort him in a time of pain. He didn't want to think about it too much. Mulder preferred to just let the feel of this woman pressed against him lull him to sleep. And as his mind drifted off into a hazy dreamland, he heard the remaining lines of the last song of Scully's tape. "it's just that we stayed too long in the same old sickly skin I'm pulled down by the undertow I never thought I could feel so low oh darkness I feel like letting go if all of the strength and all of the courage come and lift me from this place I know I can love you much better than this full of grace, full of grace, my love" The end. Well, what did ya think? ;) Feedback makes me happy and gives me ideas for more stories. Additional disclaimer: For those of you not well versed in Sarah McLachlan songs, the quotes above all come from her Surfacing album (which is basically MSR from one end to the other), and the songs I borrowed lyrics from are (in order of appearance): Witness, Angel, Black & White, and Full of Grace. I realise that Angel most probably talks about drug addiction, but since this song was so perfect for M&S, there's no reason *not* to believe that Scully is Mulder's drug of choice. I'm not getting any monetary gain from the use of these lyrics. As a matter of fact, I'm using them without permission. My only hope is that you realize just how well Sarah M.'s lyrics fit a Mulder/Scully romance, and you should all go out and buy her CD's (including this one and Fumbling Towards Ecstasy) if you don't already have them, okay?