From raquelm@support.ucla.edu Fri May 02 19:39:30 1997
Subject: EP> VRA - Breached (1/1)
From: Raquel Montoya <raquelm@support.ucla.edu>
--------
Title: Breached (1/1)
Author:  J. Chiprich
Email address:  ipomea@msn.com
Category: VRA
Rating: G
Summary:  A post- Small Potatoes story about consequences
Timespan: Fourth season/ definite spoilers for Small Potatoes, with
references 
to a couple of first season shows.

Hey, everyone.  Hope you enjoy this one.  Let me know.  I love to hear
from 
people.

Disclaimer:  Here we go again.  None of these great characters from the 
X-files belong to me.  They all belong to Chris Carter, 1013 productions
and 
the Fox Broadcasting Company.  They are used without permission.  No
copyright 
infringement is intended and no profit is being made from their use.


If silence were really golden, thought Dana Scully, I would be a very rich 
woman right now.   Fox Mulder sat beside her in the car, gnawing on his
lower 
lip as he usually did when he was deep in thought.  Other than an
occasional 
sigh and a shifting of limbs, no sound came from him.   She, every once
in a 
while, caught his eyes shifting to her; but before she could make eye
contact 
with him, his eyes would hastily avert.  He was still in the suit that he had

worn yesterday, although now it was covered in soot and grime from
the 
basement of the medical facility into which he had been locked.  Mulder
looked 
tired.  

She, on the other hand, was still feeling the after-affects of
three-quarters 
of a bottle of wine.  She felt warm and languid, although decidedly a little 
embarrassed.  Dana shifted and gazed out the window, out into the night

beyond.   How do you tell your partner and friend that you were willing
to... 
well.... let him step beyond that prized position?   In the four years that 
she had worked with him, Scully had never thought of herself and
Mulder 
together like that. Both of them so buried in previous hurtful relationships;

buried to their necks in conspiracy; buried to their eyeballs in
workaholism; 
denial of their basal identities, that of a man and a woman, was what
had 
resulted.  To each other, they had always been Scully and Mulder,
neither male 
nor female: just entities, souls, which worked in perfect harmony.  Now
that 
boundary that each had erected for the other and themselves
unknowingly, had 
been weakened.  And all of this by a man that admitted that he was just
'small 
potatoes'.   She sighed; they would have to talk this out.

"Mulder?"

"Hmm."

"We need to talk."

"Mmm hmm."

Scully lapsed back into silence.  This ride from the police station to her 
apartment had never seemed longer.

Fox turned his gaze from the road to look at his partner again.  What had
she 
been thinking? Why had she let this guy do that to her?  To him?  Couldn't
she 
tell that it hadn't been him?  Didn't she know him better than that? When
he 
had burst into the apartment, the place looked like a date was taking
place.  
An empty bottle of wine (red, well that was his favorite), a fire lit in the 
fireplace, soft romantic music playing, and a man draped across Scully
getting 
dangerously close to kissing her.  That man had been him.  Or someone
that 
looked like him, rather.  He pulled up in front of her apartment and turned 
off the engine.

Scully turned to look at him sheepishly. 

"You have any coffee or iced tea, Scully?"

"Yeah."

"Do you mind if I come in for some?  We can have that talk."  He waited
for he 
affirmation and then exited the car.  Dana, for her part, moved forward in

relatively slow motion.  She had no idea how Fox Mulder was reacting;
he was 
an enigma to her now.  Usually she had some idea of what he was
thinking, of 
his course of action.  Now, she had none.  

Together they climbed the steps to the apartment and Dana let them into
the 
dwelling.  Once inside, she left him to make himself comfortable while
she 
went into the kitchen for the drinks.  As Mulder shut the door behind
them, he 
detected the smell of stale wine.  He came around the couch and saw
two 
wineglasses on the coffee table.  One was empty; the other was almost
empty.  
The almost empty glass had a tracing of lipstick on the rim in the shade of

eau de Dana Scully.  His eyes fell on the collection of dying embers in the

fireplace, which cast a soft light and emitted a pleasant smell.  The only 
lamp that was on was the one by the bay window.  The atmosphere of
the room 
was cozy, welcoming.  As he removed his suit jacket, Mulder wondered
if it was 
a residual aura of the situation that had happened earlier.  Gingerly he
sat 
on the couch and pulled at his tie to loosen it.

Dana entered the room from the kitchen carrying two glasses of iced tea.
 She 
crossed over Mulder's legs and sat down next to the lamp table.  The 
similarity of the situation to that that had happened earlier in the evening 
was overwhelming and she felt shivers go up her spine.  Mulder
accepted the 
glass with a nod of thanks.  Taking a deep sigh, he drained the contents
in a 
gulp and set the glass down on the collection of autopsy data in front of
him. 
 Scully drew her legs up and sipped from her glass, eyeing him over the
rim.  
She knew that he would start the conversation when he was ready.

As if on cue, Fox leaned forward and placed his arms on his knees. 
"Scully."

She raised her eyebrows in inquiry.

"You really had no idea that it wasn't me?  I mean his intonation, his
sense 
of humor, his personality... it was all the same as mine?"  

"I really had no idea that it wasn't you, Mulder."  Dana sighed into her 
glass.  

"You didn't think that it was strange that I turned up on your doorstep
with a 
bottle of wine?  How often do I drink, Scully?  Not often at all.  And what 
about, just stopping by to talk... Scully, Dana, we never do that."

Scully nodded.  "I know.  That was the one thing that I found excessively

strange about the situation, but I thought that perhaps it was just you in
one 
of your introspective moods.  And you know, Mulder, he asked why we
never 
talked.  And I couldn't answer him.  I figured you were just opening up to
me 
and I welcomed it." 

Mulder stood up from the couch and disappeared into the kitchen.  Scully
could 
hear the faucet running and a minute later; he reappeared with a glass of

water.  It was then that he began his characteristic pacing.  Dana
always 
equated it to that of an animal in a zoo.  It was fast and purposeful.

"We really didn't talk about much, Mulder." She started, giving him
something 
about which to think.  "In fact, I did all the talking.  Mostly it was about 
my past loves, college dates of importance, high school prom, that sort of

thing."

"What about the fire, Scully."  Fox swept his arm toward the fireplace,
before 
placing his hands on his hips.  "You know what a phobia I have about
fire.  
Who lit it?"

"I did."

"So you were treating this like a date?"

"No, Mulder..." she sat up straighter, now they were getting to the meat
of 
things.  "No, I wasn't.  I was treating it like two friends who happen to 
spend an evening together talking and sharing a bottle of wine.  It was 
harmless..."

Mulder lowered his head and drew his lower lip in under his teeth for a 
moment.  "It didn't look that way when I came in... in fact, it looked very 
much like I, he, me...whoever, was about to get very lucky."

Dana lowered her gaze from her partner and took another sip from the
glass.  

"Did the two of you engage in a kiss?" he asked quietly.

"No"

Dana could have sworn she heard a sigh.  

"But if I hadn't had, shall we say, crashed the party when I did, would
you 
have?"

"Yes."

Mulder nodded and walked over to the fireplace, intently studying the
embers.  
How easy it would be if all of life's inherent mysteries were spelled out in

the ashes of a dying fire, he thought.  At least, Scully was being very
direct 
about the answers that she was giving.  However, now was the time
for the hard 
questions.

"Why, Scully?"

She pursed her lips and sat very sit for a few minutes.  Mulder watched
her 
youthful face change back and forth between indecision and conviction. 

"Exactly what do you mean, why?" she asked finally, meeting his eyes.

"Why would you let me come on to you like that?  What about the respect
that 
we have for each other?  What about our friendship?"  Mulder crossed
to the 
couch and sat down next to her.  "We've been partners for four years,
almost 
five.  In that time, I've inundated you with innuendoes, double entendres, 
touches, and whispered comments.  Why would tonight, of all nights, be
the one 
on which you accept an advance?"

Dana Scully sank back into the cushions on her couch.  Mulder's voice
had 
taken on a hushed, almost reverent tone in the last exchange.  She had
known 
throughout their time together that Mulder used his off color sense of
humor 
as a virtual shield; one that would protect him from slung arrows directed
at 
his head and his heart.  Even when she had finally breached the barrier
he had 
erected and had entered into his inner sanctum, effectively earning his
trust 
and his friendship; he had continued to use that method of protection. 
Old 
habits die hard.  Dana realized in that moment, as she watched the man
study 
his hands folded in front of him, that Fox Mulder was frightened.  She
reached 
out and laid a hand on his to still the fidgeting.

"I might have accepted the advance earlier, Mulder, if it had ever been
put 
forth."

Fox felt his breath stop for a second.  When it began again, he lifted his 
eyes to meet those of his friend.  She has beautiful eyes, he decided, so 
clear and endless.  He had always liked them before because of their
clarity.  
They were crystal blue portals to her soul and in them there was no
cloudiness 
of deceit.  Now, they shone with a wide variety of emotions: amusement;

understanding; compassion and trust.  

Mulder disentangled his hands and stood up again, crossing the small
distance 
to the opposite wall in no time at all.  "Scully, do you know what you just 
said?"

"Yes." Dana looked back down at her hands, and then continued. 
"Mulder, we've 
said this before to each other... you are the only one that I trust.  I trust 
you with my life, my mind, my well-being...."

"Have to, Scully.  Part of the territory in the Bureau." He shrugged his 
shoulders slightly, a sheepish grin on his face.

She grimaced at his attempt at humor and continued "Do you know how
much I 
admire you?  You have a drive, I said this to you before, and do you
remember? 
 You have a drive that is blinding in its intensity.  You care deeply for 
people; you radiate empathy.  No matter what odds you face, you still
have a 
commitment to the truth." She rose to her feet and moved to stand next to
him. 
 "Fox Mulder, you are a good human being, and you have a high standard
of 
integrity.  And on top of all of this, you are a force to be dealt with in 
intelligence.  What makes it so hard for you to understand that an
advance 
from you would be a compliment?"

Mulder looked down into his partner's face.  Sighing gently, and cupping
her 
face in his hands with the same gentleness, he smiled.  "Thanks." He
said, 
sheepishly.  He dropped his hands and continued, reaching out to hold
one of 
her smaller hands in his.  "Do you know what happened that day, the
one on 
which you called me to come down to the hospital?  All I could think
about was 
that you might leave me.  Selfish, huh?  I didn't want you to die; I didn't 
even want to think about it.  You know that you have taken the place of
every 
major person in my life.  I'm so close to you sometimes in here..." he
pointed 
to his head, " and in here, " he pointed to his chest.  "That sometimes I 
can't imagine what it would be like without you."  Silently he leaned
forward 
and brushed his lips against her hairline, and then rested his lips against 
her temple.

"We're messed up, Scully." He sighed, wrapping his arms around her
waist." 
Here we are, two adults.  Two passionate, dedicated, intelligent, virile 
adults.  We work together, laugh and cry together, face death together.  
You've saved my neck more times than I can possibly count.  I've stuck
my neck 
on the lines more times than I can possibly count for you.  And yet what
is it 
that makes us the most afraid?"

"Opening ourselves to one another. " she completed his sentence,
resting 
comfortably against his chest.  "I, myself have never been able to get
close 
to people easily.  Intimacy requires letting part of yourself go and
accepting 
part of another person.  It requires a dependency of sorts.  I don't want
to 
depend on anyone.  I'm afraid of you.  I'm afraid of what you mean to me.
I'm 
afraid that in giving part of myself to you, I'll lose myself."

He nodded, slowly running his hands up and down her back in a gentle
caress.  
"I know.  I know.  I feel the same way.  The last thing I want to do is to 
strap another human being with my neurosis and phobias, especially a
human 
about whom I care.  But in order to experience all that I can with a
person, 
to feel the depth of emotion to which you are entitled, I have to share
even 
the bad, dark side of me.  And, I don't want a repeat of Phoebe." He
laughed 
quietly.  "She was hell."

"So what are we going to do?"

"Well," Mulder tightened his arms and then reached to tilt her head back
so 
that he could meet her eyes.  "I suggest that we continue to care about
one 
another the best we can.  I'm still going to love you... Yes, I did just say 
that." He kissed her forehead, "Because I do love you.  In more ways
than I 
can possibly express.  It's more than just sex, chemistry or that emotion
that 
people say just exists in a young girl's dream: it's mountain high and sea 
deep and everything in between.  Anyway, I'm still going to love you the
best 
I can and try to move to a mental and emotional level from which I can
share 
all of me.  It will undoubtably take a while.  Be patient."

She smiled gently, "I love you too. And be patient with me as well,
Mulder. I 
have growing to do myself.  And we have so much to do."

He nodded. "But the first thing that I think that we ought to do is to have 
that kiss that we might have shared.  Then we'll go our separate ways..
for 
now.." he added with a grin.

He really was incorrigable, Scully decided.  Any other thought was
effectively 
squashed when his lips met hers with a ferocious intensity that filled her 
body with warmth.  They were insistent and clinging, his lips, and they
moved 
with a deliberate motion that caused her head to spin.  Gladly, Dana
returned 
the caress.  Pulling and giving as their lips continued to vie for the upper 
position.  Slowly, the kiss turned gentle and the two partner's eventually 
pulled apart.  He tiled her face upwards with his hand and kissed her
nose.

"That will have to hold us for now, Dana." He conceeded.

She sighed and nodded, "I know.  I have come to rely on you friendship, 
Mulder.  I don't want to do anything to jepodize it."  She tightened her
arms 
around his waist and grinned. "Well, partner.  Are you glad that we had
that 
talk?"

"Yup." He moved away from her gently.  "But I think that I should be
shoving 
off now.  We've got a meeting with Skinner in the morning and I want to
check 
out my apartment; make sure that he didn't take my fish hostage."

Dana moved to the door as Mulder gathered and donned his discarded
jacket.  
She held open the door for him as he moved past her to the hallway
beyond the 
threshold.  "Goodnight, Mulder.  See you bright and early."

He grinned and turned to walk away, but suddenly turned back and
stopped the 
motion of the closing door.  Mulder bent down to make their eye level the 
same.  "Don't shoot me again, Scully." He qualified as his lips connected
with 
hers.  Several minutes later he pulled away again.  "It was an involuntary

reaction to immense feelings.  Goodnight, Scully."

He moved down the hallway and Dana closed the door as he passed
through the 
exterior door into the night.  She leaned back against it, and touched her 
lips.  They had breached the partnership tonight.  But it wasn't a huge 
problem; it was not like the feelings hadn't been there before that night.  
They had always been there; just lurking, biding their time.  But she and
Fox 
were on the same level, it would eventually work out.  He was still her
best 
friend.  And they loved each other, regardless of whether or not there
could 
be any manifestations of their feelings, the emotions existed.  It was
enough. 
 For now.

THE END.

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