Date: Tue, 03 Mar 1998 23:47:18 -0500 From: Agent DM Subject: EP> Romantic 1/4 ROMANTIC by Mariacomet Part: 1/4 Summary: After her cancer goes into remission, Scully begins to question the direction of her life. Mulder confronts his feelings as she turns to another man. The partners conduct a 'romantic' experiment and realize that the answer to Scully's restlessness may not be farther than her best friend. Archive: Yes. Keep me as the writer and let me know is all I ask. Rating: Working toward a NC-17 (i.e. I will create Lots of Ust and then...um...resolve it.) Part 1 through Part 3 will be PG. Part 4...different rating entirely. Category: MSR. If your a non-shipper, re-read the title and run for your life. :) Timeline: Spoilers for Detour and Post Prometheus. Basically this continues after those episodes as if Christmas Carol never happened. Disclaimer: Come on now if I owned the rights on Mulder....er...WOW....(getting totally distracted by that thought.) As I was saying, If I owned the rights on Mulder...Mulder...Oh boy. Okay, so I didn't create the X-files or any of the characters there-in. All the rights of said t.v. series belong to Fox, Mr. Carter, and 1013 Productions. Special Kudos to D.D. and G.A. for their extreme talents, without which I'd have zero inspiration. Not making money on this. Ya-da, ya-da, ya-da. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Good evening ladies and gentleman. Welcome! This is a writer's plea for feedback. To induce, you, the audience to write and tell the author what ya think...I have the following LIFE or MAIL challenge. (Announcer holds up a small glass cage with a brown lizard in it.) This is Skippy. Skippy is your typical garden variety lizard. Say hello Skippy! (Holds up lizard, who remains silent but does flick out his tongue) Now if you folks will notice, in the corner over there we have Postman Donnie. (A tall man with a mustache in a postman's uniform waves to the crowd) The writer has determined that if she gets no feedback, we will mail Skippy one way to....ANTARCTICA. So, if your interested in joining the "Save Skippy Crusade," please send your letters to: Mariacomet@hotmail.com Write a letter and make a difference. Save Skippy. <<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>> (Part 1) If you love something set it... Better to have loved and lost than never to... Some sayings were overused. Terms existed that bleed of abuse. The meaning of the word love, for example. SoulMates. That was another one. Just a speck compared to what it had once meant, now tossed around freely by dreamers searching for meaning. But they couldn't be blamed, it was human nature to strive against being alone. To reach outside the self and seek connection. It was as much an instinct of survival {and}[AS] staking out shelter and food. Fox Mulder's feet rose and fell in an even rhythm, his breath falling in and out of him with steady control. It was usual to think of her as he took his morning jog. His body was engaged in rigorous motion around the long circular track of the YMCA, but he allowed his mind complete freedom during this time. It gave him at least an hour every day of total self honesty. His dark hair was damp with sweat, his eyes concentrating on nothing in particular, non-seeing. Thinking of her was as natural as breathing. It seemed a part of her lived in everything he did, each thought that he had, each beat of his heart - everything. What did you do when the woman of your dreams was right in front of you...It wasn't that Scully fit any mold or pattern in his mind. Rather she filled gaps that he'd always felt would remain empty. He knew she could bring to his life all the joy of love he'd been denied. But that wasn't going to happen. It was a pipe dream. What did you do when the woman of your dreams was right in front of you...and you couldn't have her ? You became her best friend. You lived inside small fantasies when it was just the two of you. You jogged an hour or two every morning to keep yourself from losing your mind. You cracked witticisms every time things became too serious, lest you reveal too much. You smiled at her as she lay dying of cancer trying to provide strength. Even if watching her die was slowly killing you as well. You cried with relief, thanking God or fate or whoever when her life was restored. You watched her blossoming back to full health, your soul rejoicing at every sign that she really would be okay. Mostly, though, you learned to set your feelings aside. Dana was feeling restless, Mulder knew that. Five months ago she'd been given her life again and now she questioned the value of the life she was living. Mulder wondered what had taken her so long. She deserved so much more than to be trapped in a dusty basement office with the Bureau's favorite loony tune. Working with Dana Scully was inspiring. She challenged and revived him. She matched him, argument for argument, theory for theory. She had brought the fire back to his quest for the truth. She'd made the loneliness dissipate like a bad dream. Without her in his life, the sun had no substance. The world was cold. The truth was still there in the midst, still worth seeking, but he could no longer be content with seeking it alone. Mulder was no expert at being in love. He believed it to be a matter of putting her above himself. The rest was a mystery. What lived in his heart for Scully was both lust[-]filled and innocent. Greedy and Giving. Courageous and terrified. And he'd never told her. Some words had the power to make people disappear. Poof. Presto, chango. She'd be gone. One way or another. Better to not rock the boat. She was his friend. That was good enough. It was more from life than he'd every expected. A true, heartfelt companion who had never let him down. He could live with that. He'd have to. The wind blew over his face, cooling the sweat as he continued to jog. In a little over an hour he'd be ready to face Scully as just her pal. He'd be in control again. And she'd never, ever know. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> If Mulder was the type to lie to himself, he could say that Scully's extension into a romantic relationship was an inconvenience. After all, he and Scully had fallen into a habit for going on two years now. Their habitual hangout time had been initiated by Mulder's need to make sure she was truly ok. Like all things with Scully, it had developed into something more. Something stronger. It had become routine. As instinctual as working with her on a case. Mulder hadn't thought he'd have much of a life besides his work. But he made room for certain things: basketball games, really good jazz music...and after Tooms, he'd made room for Scully. But Since Mr. Wonderful had shown up, she'd canceled on Mulder four times. If the gifts and flowers she was receiving regularly were any indication, this fellow appreciated her. It was true that Dana wasn't wearing the love-sick glow that other women sometimes did at the start of a relationship, but then she tended to be a private person. Scully kept her emotions reined in tightly. Just like Mulder did. He rested his chin on his hand, observing her for a long moment before speaking. "Scully?" Mulder called. Scully's brow was pinched as she looked over the pictures she had downloaded from the F.B.I mainframe. It was the same focused expression she wore when she was performing an autopsy. "Mmm." The distracted Scully hum. He didn't really have her attention yet. Mulder needed something absurd to say, something that would tear her away from the task at hand. He approached on the pretense of laying a file on her desk. "He drives a Volvo doesn't he?" Her sea blue eyes snapped up to those of her partner. She clearly hadn't been expecting the statement. "What?" "Aaron." Mulder said by way of explanation. He was putting forth a good front, conveying only amusement in his expression. "You've had 7 dates with him in the last three months." A wry smile. "Must be some kind of record for the X-files team." Mulder himself counted three 'dates' in five years. In three months, Scully had more than doubled his X-files era romantic history. "I'm just curious about the man who's stolen the heart of the enigmatic Dr. Scully." Mulder tried to leave no trace of hardness in his words. Humor. When pain was clawing at his heart, he always turned to a joke. "My heart thanks you for the concern, but it remains intact where it always has been." Then more quietly. "Though I could do worse." "He's not good enough for you." Mulder said after a moment but there was a smile in his hazel eyes. "Mulder you've never met him." She made no attempt to hide the rolling of her eyes. "I think the concept of good enough is a rather outdated and chauvinist." Her chin jutted up, stubbornly. "By what moral or personal set of scales can you weigh what 'good' is? Much less good enough?" Even when she was matching facetiousness with facetiousness, she was always the reasonable one. Mulder nodded, "I agree. Chauvinist and outdated." Mulder leaned in and nudged her with his elbow lightly. It was a light tap just enough to make sure she knew that his next words were a joke. "Except in this case." Scully nudged him back, accepting the teasing as par for the course. Mulder returned to his chair, leaning back, his arms crossed over his chest. "In the absence of your father and brothers, I feel a certain obligation to ascertain this man's intentions." Besides that, Mulder thought sarcastically to himself, I am glutton for punishment. "Are you saying your feeling parental compulsions toward me, Agent Mulder?" Asked Scully, taking her place in the light-hearted banter. When she was amused, the tint of it was subtle. A lightening of her eyes, a quirk of one mouth corner, a slight tilt of her head. Mulder had grown to know the expression well. He knew all of her facial meters like the back of his hand. "The psych profile department would have a field day with that one." "Oh, I've been their poster boy for years." Mulder taunted. "And Scully, be good or I'll send you to bed without any supper." Her warm chuckle filled the room. The sound was one that he'd once rarely had the pleasure of hearing, but he'd become attuned to finding ways to coax it from her. It was as if she used a fragile layer of ice to shield herself in. Every now and again, she allowed it to melt, revealing who she really was. Mulder liked being in on the secret. Scully sobered and regarded her friend with a pained expression. "I don't know if I'm ready for him to meet you." Mulder lifted a pencil from a small round ceramic jar. The blue and white pencil holder had been a gift from his partner after a discussion about how despite numerous request from the supply office, they never seemed to have a pen around they needed one. Yep, Mulder was to blame for that, and rightly so. Organization simply wasn't one of his priorities. "Any particular reason why not?" "That kind of introduction assumes a more permanent commitment. I don't know that Aaron and I have reached that stage." She made an off-hand gesture, waving her prior words away as if they were unimportant. "I haven't introduced him to anyone, Mulder." So her family hadn't met the mystery man either. He wondered if Maggie Scully wasn't chomping at the bit over that one. "You know," Mulder began conversationally, as he drummed the pencil's eraser lightly against his desk top. "As an F.B.I agent, I do have the ability to find out his address." Inwardly Mulder cursed himself. Why was he pushing this? Because, dammit, I'm her friend. Looking out for her is what I'm supposed to do. A raised eyebrow in response to the challenge. "I think I should remind you that if you take any such action..." She smiled coolly. "I already know *your* address." Mirth danced back and forth between the two partners. Scully dropped her gaze and shook her head. "Actually he's been wanting to meet you too." "You've told him about me?" Scully frowned as if she suspected he was reading more into that than he should. "Only the basics." "Name. Rank. Serial Number. " A not-quite hidden grin. "Right." She was clicking the mouse again, eyes on her computer, still trying to keep to task. That was Scully. Nose to the grindstone. Mulder wasn't willing to drop the subject. "Wellllll?" "Hmm?" "Scully..." Her blue eyes flashed up at him, letting him know that she knew she'd been caught trying to let the whole thing slide. "I'll see what I can do." Scully relenting should have made Mulder feel triumphant. Instead he felt like he'd just made a big mistake. "Promise me... you'll... behave." "Who, me?" Mulder gave a crooked grin and crossed his heart with his index finger. His eyes still on hers, he walked over to lean on the side of her desk. "I'm just looking out for you, partner." She folded her hands before her and looked up at him, giving up on the work for now. "I know that Mulder." She reassured him fondly, and briefly reached out to touch his hand. The 'I'm glad I have to put up with you,' look was on her face. The same one she might give a brother. It was fine that she only categorized him as a best friend, but his pride didn't have the pliancy to be written off as a sibling. Mulder took hold of her arm stopping her just as she started to turn away from him. Scully waited, looking to him expectantly. Mulder leaned his head down slowly and brushed his mouth tenderly against her brow, lingering a bit longer than he should have. Her eyes automatically fluttered shut with the gesture. She bore a slight attraction to him, Mulder knew. It was inconsequential in her mind and it would never go anywhere. But it was a useful bit of information to have. "Nothing and no one will ever be good enough for my Scully." He whispered and then drew away. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> My Scully, Dana thought, that really hadn't been fair. Her poker face was a matter of habit and she was glad that it was. If he could see the turmoil his one thoughtless act had created...The feel of his soft mouth against her skin...Damm...That kettle of worms was closed, she reminded herself. For a long time she'd felt uncertainty about what exactly it was that she shared with her partner. But she'd ignored the confusion, thinking probing could only bring destructive questions. Then cancer had closed in and she had been glad that her questions had remained silent. Mulder had already lost so much...and the disease was forcing him to deal with losing his best friend as well. If they'd been more than partners... Then all at once, five months ago...the Future with it's indefinite warmth had been returned to her. She was going to live. Which brought to her gratitude for all she would continue to hold and the wondering of all she had missed when her appreciation had been more casual. Meaning. Her life was her work. The truth was a worthwhile quest, yes. But was truth she may never find really all she wanted? She wondered about the gaps in her life. She wondered about Mulder. Her return as an agent had been heralded by an F.B.I conference. It was an easy assignment. A way that she could get back into the groove of things, without overt amounts of stress. That had been why Skinner had ordered it. Mulder had gone along without argument for similar reasons. When he'd found a way out of it though, he'd jumped. Scully had considered it an opportunity. It might be a nice interlude. When she and Mulder were together away from work, it always had an overtly 'just pals' tone. Maybe if she...explored a more flexible avenue. A small bottle of wine, a hotel room...It had not been a seduction attempt. Just an exploration. She'd just wanted a hint if they could have...more. It had taken her five years to get up the courage to conduct this experiment. It would be trial and error, that's all. Despite her inward insistentce that she was expecting nothing, Scully had placed a small piece of her heart on the line testing his reaction. Dana wasn't used to taking risks. Wasn't particularly good at it. In this situation she had tried to do her best without overtly blurring the lines. Mulder had bolted just a few minutes after she'd come in. He hadn't touched the wine and he'd gone on and on about Predators in the wild. A Rejection? Maybe. Then again maybe not... Mulder was distractiable, especially when he thought he was on to something. Perhaps it wasn't really a rebuff. So to a lesser degree in the woods, she'd tested the waters again. Flirting in answer to his innuendoes. It wasn't the normal scope of their banter. Mulder spouted flirtation left and right, and she normally tried to ignore it. After all, it wasn't serious. It was just Mulder. This time, she had answered him tit for tat. What she received for her efforts was an uncertain look. Allllllrigggghhtttyy then. Dana had given up, written her emotions off as one sided. Yet the feeling that empty pieces existed in her life hadn't left her. Six months ago, before the cancer had gone into remission, a family friend had begun asking her to dinner. Initially Scully had refused because of the cancer. After, she'd wanted to see what - if anything - would develop between herself and her partner. In the end, she had no reason to continue saying no, wasn't sure she even wanted to. Aaron was an intelligent and warm. He was handsome in every classical sense and he seemed more than ready to commit. Yet she'd asked him to think of the relationship as a casual one. Despite the cancer, even with her resolve to fill the gaps, Dana wasn't certain Aaron could help her find and maintain the meaning she was desperately beginning to crave. Yet in exactly two hours Aaron Cope would meet with her partner and best friend for the first time. Scully had suggested that she make dinner at her apartment for the three of them. It was an intimate but neutral location. Both men had agreed, and Mulder had insisting on showing up early to go shopping with her. Now they walked beside one another, talking about nothing in particular. Scully went straight down the list of the items she needed. It was the way she preferred to do things. Mulder, on the other hand, was bored. She could tell by the way he was picking things up and playing with them before setting them back down. To try and accommodate him, Scully was hurrying as best she could. It was a nice feeling, not having to do something as mundane as grocery shopping alone. She'd been cheerfully surprised that he'd offered. It wasn't like him to be that thoughtful. Certainly he could be caring and supportive, but this was above and beyond. She suspected though she'd been careful not to let it show, he knew on some level that she was nervous about the meeting tonight. Aaron was a new facet of her life. Mulder had, in the brief time she and Aaron had been dating, interrupted their relationship more than once. They'd be at dinner and the cell-phone would ring. Mulder, calling about a case, and Scully would be off like wind. She'd be apologetic, but she also didn't hint that her reaction to a call from her partner would ever change. It was something she had no intention of altering. If Mulder needed her, she'd be there and that was that. No matter what. Dana suddenly felt her feet leave the floor. Mulder lifted his distracted partner into his arms. He set her in the grocery cart before she was able to utter a protest. "Mulder...Mulder." "What do we need Scully?" His hands were at the bar behind the cart, and she fell to an awkward sitting position as he began to wheel forward. Dana struggled to get up, but her heel was caught inside the wire frame. "Mulder, get me out of this thing." "What do we need?" He persisted. "I need a new partner." She muttered. "You need...would you like that listed alphabetically?" "I was talking about dinner." He leaned over her and grabbed her list from her startled grasp. "Lettuce?" "Yeah but..." Without another word, he was walking her rapidly toward the produce aisle. He took the corners far more sharply than would have eased her state of mind. "MULDER!" But in an instant they were there, near mounds and mound of Iceberg green fluffy produce. Mulder tossed her a head of lettuce. "Lettuce." He said in a tone stating that the mission was accomplished. His smile was devilish as he returned the piece of paper with her carefully chosen ingredients. "What else?" He queried. "Mulder." Dana's tone was a warning. Mulder was immune. "What else?" His voice was more insistent. He watched the change in her eyes, from serious and disapproving to mischievous. And he fell in love with her all over again. "Tomatoes." She said. "Tomatoes." Again Mulder operated the cart and started for their goal. People were staring at them. Neither cared. It was odd. Scully was the one with close friends other than her true blue partner. She was the one with the close family life. Yet it was Mulder who'd one day looked up after 12 hours on the job and had said 'Let's play hooky, Scully.' It had surprised her. If anything, Mulder always wished for more time to work, not less. If he hadn't look so exhausted and she hadn't felt a large strain of the weariness as well, she might have protested. But she didn't. They'd gone to a movie that night. Mulder had slide his arm easily around her shoulders as they'd lost themselves in the unfolding pictures on the screen. Since then those four words had become an extension of their efforts to take care of each other. 'Let's play hooky, Mulder.' or 'Let's play hooky, Scully.' Always the same play of expression afterward between the one approached and the approachee. A look, an unresolved protest from the partner determined to stay at task. 'This is important.' A gaze mirrored back, an insistence. 'So is this,' Communication without a word ushering back and forth between them. There were always plenty of X-files, some dating back thirty years. In a country where the media had immeasurable freedom, where the inter{-}net had been invented, mysteries were still available in surplus. Almost all of their cases involved travel. Since the bureau was skeptical of the X-files to begin with, Mulder tended to choose cases where a death had occurred. This gave their cases a high priority. Not much time left for a social life. But moments came where they had to wait for lab results from potential clues. Times when after a case was solved, they had interrogations to conduct, paper work to complete, A.D. Skinner to brief. Mulder would sometimes be called upon to prove a case warranted bureau involvement. They'd both be trapped behind a mountain of research. In a sense this was relaxing for Scully. Mulder loathed it. He'd rather be in the field. There were bureau obligations too that also forced them to stay in town from nine to five, thus keeping their evenings free. Occasionally Assistant Director Skinner simply wouldn't approve a case - any case - for several days. Then suddenly a break and at a moments notice, they'd be let off their leash. So they had no set schedule or routine for spending their down time together. More often than not, it just seemed to happen. Scully tried to see her mother regularly and Mulder's obsession often had him running off at short notice to meet with an informant. Yet they both seemed resolute to clear time with one another away from work. Just a few hours where they could stop being special agents and be best friends instead. Enjoy each other's company. Play hooky. Mulder made her laugh, tugged at her sense of concrete definitions, inspired her with his passion. She, on the other hand, gave him the complete acceptance that he'd never had. She gave him a sense of 'home,' a port in the storm. And maybe that was his gift to her as well. With no other person did she feel so remarkably un-alone. They enjoyed their differences in one another. Reveled in them. They were, in every way that mattered, evenly matched. And both of them felt relief that they'd found their equal. "Onions." "Onions!" Mulder echoed. It had become a joyous proclamation and they were both laughing. Scully was just on the edge of giggling, in fact, by the time she said 'bread.' Giggling? What did one do with a giggling Dana Scully? It was very un-Scully like, this girlish sound of delight coming from deep in her chest. Mulder had the urge to lower his head and taste her laughter, pressing it inside him. Stop it, he ordered himself. "Garlic!" Scully called out. "Garlic on aisle eight." Mulder replied and proceeded to make airplane sounds as he pushed her along. But this time as they rounded a corner a large man in a security uniform peered down at them ominously. "You'll never take us alive, copper." Mulder said, so that only Scully could hear him. Scully reached out and smacked his chest lightly. "Excuse me," The security officer began. "Those carts really aren't meant for that. Could you get out of it...please?" Dana tried to get up, but was still trapped. "I'm sorry." An apologetic look. "It's been a long day, we were just working off a little stress." Mulder seeing her difficulty, lifted her up into his strong arms. For just a moment he cherished the feeling of her body pressed to his. Then he set her safely on the ground again. She straightened her shirt, pulling on the bottom of it. The guard still was watching the two as if they'd escaped from the local mental institution. "Sorry." She said again, but she was fighting a smile. With a great deal of dignity, she started away, pushing the cart with one hand and hauling Mulder with the other. When she was out of sight of security, she gave her partner a fond look and began chuckling. Mulder enjoyed the moment, watching the joy shimmer in her clear eyes. He gave a soft grin and leaned down, his mouth just near her ear. "I like being a bad influence on you." Scully fought against the shiver caused by his tickling breath. Mulder was a delicious contradiction; he looked like the boy next door but he had the heart of a rebel. ***LATER that night...*** "Ow...." Scully grumbled and sucked in a breath as the small cut was led to water again by her partner. Aaron would be there in less than thirty minutes. She was categorically -an idiot - for suggesting this. "I think you should have just told me you don't want to have dinner with Aaron and me." Fox Mulder remarked, his fingers lightly holding her wrist as he toweled the injured area dry. "Impaling yourself to get out of it was excessive." "Mulder? I don't want to have dinner with Aaron and you." She answered, deadpan. Scully had been chopping tomatoes, basking in Mulder's easy company as she worked in the kitchen. Then Mulder had lay his hands on her shoulders and began massaging. His proximity had bugged her, had down right distracted her. His strong hands were working at the skin of her shoulders, stroking over her back. If she turned, she'd be in his arms. What would he do, then? Panic? Her dreams had started out this way once or twice. Her invitation to Mulder understood and accepted. More often than not, though, in her fantasies over the years, he that was the instigator. She knew why. Deep down, brave as she was, she doubted she'd ever have that kind of courage. It didn't matter. Things were fine as they were. The sharp pain of a fresh cut on her index finger jerked her out of her reverie. Mulder had taken her hand in concern and lead her to the bathroom. He was sometimes over attentive to the point of madness. Other times he was lost in his obsessions and practically ignored her. First sign of injury though and there was Mulder ready to put her arm in a cast to get rid of a splinter in her finger. She got the feeling that as long as he had his lopsided grin in place, she'd let him play nursemaid anytime. Who was she kidding? She liked it, this side of him. No one else in her life had ever tried to take care of her. Dana Scully was nothing if not independent. Always strong. Be strong. The first lesson her father had taught her. She sighed at herself. Had she become too strong? Unable to let her walls down, even when she desperately wanted to. She had the same desires as any other woman. To be held and to hold, to be cared for and to provide care. She wanted, on some elemental level, to be in the kitchen and fix dinner for someone. Definitely not every day, but at least every once in a while. She wanted to wake up and snuggle closer to a warm sleeping body. Scully dreamed of being distracted from her laptop as she was hard at work looking over a report. More often than not, those silent wishes held Mulder's face. But that was ridiculous...she and Mulder? "Ow." Mulder had a cotton ball in hand and was applying disinfectant. The bathroom had been large enough to put in a tub and all the basic necessities, but with she and Mulder inside it seemed very cramped. He was in front of her, blocking the door and there was no way to delicately push past him. She started to take her hand back. "I can do this myself." A grumble. Once again, he was too close to her. It was making her feel edgy and crowded. Mulder's mouth twitched but he didn't dare smile. He leaned his head down and blew lightly over her fingers, teasing over the cut. "Better?" She couldn't speak. Her mouth had gone dry. Mulder let his breath caress her skin again. "You know my sister used to bring me her Barbie dolls to patch up. It was a lot like this." A slanted look of amusement. "Except the Barbie was a lot less trouble and my sister used to give me a kiss as payment." He tapped his cheek with his free hand, meaningfully. The twinkle in his eyes was irresistible. Scully relented and leaned up just an inch or two. It was all the distance that really separated them. She brushed her mouth quickly over his smooth cheek, just to the left of his chin. She would have pulled back with minimal effort, until she made the mistake of breathing him in. So close. Just a slight movement and their lips would brush. She could feel her body urging her to lean into him. Her heart beat with the fluttery quickness of butterfly wings. So close. "Funny," His gaze were hooded. The heat from his cheek hovered just near hers. "That was nothing like I remember it being with my sister." A husky whisper, so strangled with emotion Dana barely recognized it as Mulder's voice. He still refused to meet her eyes. "Feel better?" What was he talking about? She couldn't bring a full thought together in her mind. "No." "Me neither." Everything inside her, her very blood cells seemed to be reaching out...toward him. Please. Another shaky intake of breath. Air and old spice mixed drowning her. DING DONG. The doorbell. The two partners froze. Mulder jerked back, his hands moving to rest on the sink behind him. Scully came to herself once again and scurried from the bathroom toward the front door. Her fingers combed over her hair as if by smoothing it away from her face, she could make sense of the world. What had she been about to do? Giving in to that one little fantasy could ruin everything, both professionally and personally. Mulder was her best friend. Her FRIEND. She was acting like a hormone crazed teenager. 'I'm sorry Mulder,' She told him in her heart. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. She unlocked the door without bothering to check the peephole. A smiling pair of dark eyes greeted her. Aaron. She was almost grateful for the hug he gave her. Mulder's hugs always felt so reassuring and so tempting. She always had to fight with herself to give up his warmth. But with Aaron there was no inner conflict. "Hiya," Mulder greeted, emerging into the living room. He didn't look entirely surprised by the sight of Aaron Cope. Aaron wrapped his arms around Scully's waist and gave a nod to Mulder. Being held by Aaron had suddenly become uncomfortable. Dana wasn't sure if the discomfort was caused by Mulder's presence or not. Scully introduced the two men. She had briefed Mulder on Aaron Cope earlier in the car. Cope's family apparently had money going back two generations. Aaron himself was a surgeon. A young up and coming doctor that everyone seemed to think the world of. Cope was just slightly taller than Mulder. His sandy blond hair was feathered away from his face and dark dancing eyes. Dr. Cope didn't walk, he sauntered. He had that much confidence. It didn't come off as ego either. It was just that he had talent and money and was somewhat fearless in his approach to life. It annoyed Mulder. Cope was a G.Q. model come to life, with money and brains to boot. Mulder wanted to be able to give Scully his blessing and be all smiles. She deserved his support. But his intentions were being shot to hell. Aaron was holding her as if... No, not that. Not yet. Right? She'd have told him[,] wouldn't she? He chewed on his lower lip. Oh sure, when exactly would that subject have come up? *Mulder, this is clearly the markings of an insect larve, nothing paranormal at all...by the way, want to know how sex with Aaron rates on a scale from one to ten?* Before now, Aaron had been a phantom, an idea in the fog. He had suddenly become all too real. "Glad to finally meet you, doc." Mulder managed. Aaron gave a polite smile and then turned his attention back to Scully. "How was your day?" "Hectic." Dana answered truthfully and accepted his lingering kiss dutifully. "Would you like some wine? I have to check on a few things in the kitchen." Aaron nodded pleasantly and watched her as she started away. Mulder wanted to fluster the guy a little. He considered it his duty as Dana's partner. Mulder dropped into interrogation mode. Ten minutes later he was still asking questions. He'd been firing questions at Aaron the entire time nonstop. "And where did you two meet precisely?" "Mr. Mulder," Aaron said with a strained smile. "I must say I find your interest in our relationship to be unexpected." Mulder had to give him credit. This way the first real objection Cope had raised. "I find it fascinating." "Perhaps my surprise is that Dana hasn't already told you some of these answers herself." He was still being polite but Aaron's expression had narrowed into the beginnings of somber contemplation. Mulder knew what was going on, he was being sized up as either a threat or just an annoyance. The special agent didn't like it. "No." Fox Mulder was all innocence. "Scully hasn't told me much about you at all." Aaron's eyes hardened, hearing the unspoken challenge, even if he really didn't understand the reason behind it. "She's told me about you." Cope remarked casually, but his next words were meant to cut. "Is it true they call you 'Spooky' around the Bureau?" Mulder supposed he deserved that one. He'd been on the attack since seeing Aaron Cope. Cope was just reacting to the verbal flexing Dana's friend had been doing since they'd met. "I have a high solve rate. People can be rather petty when confronted with talents they themselves don't possess." "Or perhaps relationships they themselves don't possess?" Touch=E9. The fun was draining from this little game only to be replaced by bitterness. "I was just thinking the same thing. Scully and I are very close. It must be intimidating at times." "More so for you, I would imagine. After all, I'm not used to having her completely to myself." The words hung in the air and Mulder had to stop himself from flinching. "I've often commented to her how much I admire her dedication to you." Back off, he warned himself, this is getting a little out of hand. If Scully found out about this conversation, it would be a an icy week at the office. He was way out of his depth here, yet he couldn't seem to back down. "Scully is admirable in a lot of ways." Mulder said softly and at the mention of her name, his eyes automatically flickered toward the opening of the kitchen. "I'm sure you'll soon find that out." The Implication was the golden surgeon beside hadn't even begun to scratch the surface of Dr. Dana Scully. "If she wasn't, I wouldn't be able to commit myself to watching her back. Partners have a...special duty to protect each other." A snort and Cope set his hands on his hips. "But surely your prepared for when, at least in her personal life, that privilege and responsibility may be taken off your hands." Mulder raised his dark eyebrows. Oh really? By you and what army pal? "I'm not aware of any such limitations between Scully and me." "Time is bound to test that, don't you think?" The light haired man turned as the lady in question called his name. Scully had poked her head out of the kitchen and had seen the pair glowering at one another. She was returning, a glass of wine in each hand, to check everything out. Mulder painted on a smile and noted that Aaron did the same. But there was time for one last barb. "Aaron...you don't smoke do you?" "No." The question had obviously thrown the wealthy man for a loop. Why?" "Just curious." <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Clouds had been forming in the sky for hours, black thick masses that rumbled softly. It wasn't quite daybreak which was just as well, the morning was dark and over cast anyway. Mulder sat alone in his apartment. Scully and Aaron. He'd known that eventually...he'd just hadn't thought it would be so soon. Mulder stalked to his closet grabbing a pair of s[W]eat pants and a sweatshirt. Five minutes later, he was at the Y.M.C.A, moving into an easy jog. His feet pounded against the clay track and he maintained his breathing with strict control. Control. He loved Scully. He shut his eyes a moment and let the rhythm of his feet rein the feelings in. Scully and Aaron. Scully and Aaron. Scully and...He felt his pace falter and picked it back up again. Yearning lashed inside of him, refusing to calm, to go back into hiding. Control. Scully's head on his shoulder as they sat together eating popcorn and watching a video. Her eyes luminous as she tossed popcorn in her partners mouth. The feel of her soft hair against his neck. Her perfume, a soft floral bouquet and then the fresh smell of shampoo. Her full mouth sliding upwards slowly into an unwilling smile. It had begun to drizzle. A couple more minutes, Mulder promised himself and then he'd go. Scully bathed in fire light in the woods, looking so mysterious and desirable that he'd forgotten all about being injured. Flirting with him. Lord, how much control did she think he had? Showing up in his hotel room with wine and an inviting look on her face. She'd scared the hell out of him. They were alone together all the time. But something about this offer of company and alcohol had seemed too...too near and dear to what he has always wanted. Too tempting. He was just a man. Leaving had seemed the best option. His pushed his muscles harder. The rain touched him lightly, sliding over him. He didn't care. Faster. Where was she now? With Aaron? Mulder had left them the night before just after she'd brought out dessert. Left *them* In Scully's apartment. Together. He gritted his teeth and pumped his strong legs faster. The golden boy with his arms around Dana Scully. And they had looked right together. The rain, once light, had become large sloppy drops, falling harder and harder. Mulder could feel his shirt beginning to soak through to his skin. Mulder, get a hold of yourself. He had to find a way to deal with this. It was her right to be happy. No matter what the hell it did to him. Faster. His clothes were sticking to his body now. His hair trickled water down over his face. It felt good. Like nature was in accord with the timbre of his soul. Control. Impossible. He'd taken what he could get. Aaron simply had a gift that Mulder had never been offered. The chance at Scully's heart. Rage at the life he'd been handed. Fury at the injustice of it. Anger at Aaron Cope for being so dammed perfect. And at Scully for...for not missing him as much as he missed her. Scully. He lifted his face toward heaven and felt rain seep through his parted lips. He spurned himself on, feeling the extreme pace begin to wear him down. He pushed harder, forcing himself to keep running. ***** End part 1 'ROMANTIC' by Mariacomet Part: 2/4 Summary: After her cancer goes into remission, Scully begins to question the direction of her life. Mulder confronts his feelings as she turns to another man. The partners conduct a 'romantic' experiment and realize that the answer to Scully's restlessness may not be farther than her best friend. Archive: Yes. Keep me as the writer and let me know is all I ask. Rating: Parts 1 through Part 3 will be PG. Part 4...different rating entirely. Category: MSR. If your a non-shipper, re-read the title and run for your life. :) Timeline: Spoilers for Detour and Post Prometheus. Basically this continues after those episodes as if Christmas Carol never happened. Disclaimer: See part 1. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> (In Narrator's voice) Antarctic land of the white plains. Home of iceBand more iceBand then in a twist of irony, yet more ice. (The Movie Changes to show a brown, garden variety lizard) Skippy. A lizard at a time of crisis. Will he remain home, safe in his little cage? Or will he be sent to bravely go where no lizard has gone before. It's up to you. Join the SAVE SKIPPY CRUSADE now. The writer has determined that if she gets no feedback, she will use the U.S. Postal System and send the little reptile on a long journey. You can make a difference. Send all requests to SAVE SKIPPY to: Mariacomet@hotmail.com <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>> (Part 2) "This case..." Scully cut him off. "Is six years old." Mulder was standing in a dark suit with a red and purple plaid tie looking at her with a superior expression. Scully normally tried to be tactful, careful not to ruffle his feathers overtly. But not now. "Has no new leads. Is never going to get past Skinner's rejection pile." Mulder hopped up on the edge of his desk and watched her, his face alive with irritation. Fire met fire as their eyes locked. "I'm so glad you've become an expert on these things." Scully was standing in front of her desk, her arms crossed in a classic defense pose over her chest. She was just a few feet from him. With Mulder seated on the desk, she gained height over him - barely. "I am *trying*," She stressed the word. "To carry out my job." They were both ignoring the way the air had become charged around them. His hands curled and uncurled around the edge of the desk. He noticed suddenly that their office was far too dark. Two desk lamps in a basement, for goodness sakes? The lack of light made the shadows around the room seem too...private. His jaw clenched as he bit out his next words. "Nowhere in our job description does it say to quit a case because the paper work is exhausting." "And nowhere in our job description does it list making up excuses to go on wild goose chases." She growled. Something had been wrong for nearly two weeks. Mulder had been inexpressive of his usual maverick sense of humor. Instead he was more sarcastic, as if he was lying in wait for the opportunity to lash out. Over the last fourteen days or so he'd snapped at her frequently. Not understanding his behavior, she'd snapped back in kind. At least once it had turned a bit ugly, leading him to storm from the office, closing the door firmly behind him. They hadn't spoken about the blow-up, pretending instead to go on as if it had never happened. Now, once again, they were at that line. Both of them glaring at one another. "What irritates you," Mulder's voice rose to counter hers. "Is that this doesn't fit into your category of worthwhile causes." He paused, wanting his next words to hit home. "The scope of which has gotten much narrower in recent months." Scully gathered in her temper, careful not to miss a strand before continuing. She took a step towards him, keeping her arms crossed. "Have I done something to offend you, Mulder?" This was a demand for an answer. A resolution. "Other than second guessing my every decision?" Her full mouth pressed into a line and then relaxed. "I don't believe this is solely a work related issue." Dana was regarding him neutrally, waiting for him to make his case. If he had one. "Is something wrong, Agent Mulder?" Such a simple question. She should have asked it days ago. "I think I have a right to know." Feelings were never effectively hidden from those closest to you. As a man who'd had training as a psychologist, he should have been the first to know that. Now he was stuck trying to explain actions that couldn't possibly make any sense, unless one specific word was used to describe them. Love. Over a week ago Scully and he had returned from a strange little town with a monster that wasn't a monster and a Cher concert. That had been interesting to explain to Skinner. *And the suspect wasn't brought into immediate custody because you were...where?* Mulder had raised his voice, ready to go round and round with his boss as he had numerous times before. Scully had stepped in, his staunch defender, insisting that the F.B.I. was at it's heart a division of justice. It was in that capacity that they had made their unorthodox decision. To give a man who'd been deprived of kindness, a chance to witness that side of human nature. Scully had a large heart. It wasn't her logic that she first filtered the world with when tragedy struck, it was her compassion. Mulder would occasionally get caught up in the chase, the bigger scheme, and then...he'd look at the softness in his friend's eyes and be reminded that these were people's lives they were dealing in. Good or bad. Wrong or right. He'd danced with her at the concert. Finally. It had only taken him five years. They'd been surrounded by a cheering crowd. Between the music and the spectators, the noise in the place had been deafening. He'd held out his hand and she'd come to his arms and then everything...everything had faded away. He was lost and found. Fire danced lightly up and down Mulder's body as she followed his fluid movements, brushing her hips with his. Her arms around him. His arms sheltering her. The feel of her warm petite body against his. They'd both smiled as if they shared a secret that no one else in the world knew. Why had it taken them so long to get here, he'd wondered. A sentimental thought from a not so terribly sentimental guy. Then he'd reminded himself - 'here' wasn't anywhere. Just friends. Just friends. Just friends. "I'm worried about you." It was the closest answer to the truth that Mulder dared give. Her regard was boring into him with a stark frankness. "I didn't expect this thing with Aaron to be so...consuming." He was no longer the sarcastic, over motivated partner who kept her at arms length. Mulder wore the face of her friend again. Scully moved to sit beside him on the desk. It had been three weeks since they'd had any down time together. As so often happened in their occupation, free time had recently become a rare occurrence. Only in the last few days had things slowed down enough for Dana to catch her breath. And when she did have time, she felt so guilty about all the last minute cancellations with Aaron, she felt she owed him a call first. "Are you under the impression I can't take care of myself?" Dana asked quietly. "I trust your ability to kick ass and take names, completely." A casual response, as if he had not a care in the world. "With the possible exception of Human conundrums that have taken on my appearance. In that case, a little wine throws you totally off." Scully had the good grace to blush and instantly avoided his gaze. Good Ol' Eddie Van Blundht. Currently ranked no. 3 on the list of things he and Scully would never discuss. It ranked just under the death of her sister and the involvement of his father in the conspiracy. "I wouldn't go there. Your record of distractions with the opposite sex is legendary." "Legendary?" He raised his eyebrows. "Do tell." He squared his shoulders in a not quite effective show of bravado. "Least none of my dates have never rendered me unconscious and considered throwing me in a furnace." The other Ed, number 6 on the list of non-discussible topics, but Mulder was in a reckless mood. "Must be your perfume." "And my dates don't require touch tone phones and a major credit card number." Mulder's tactics didn't always work. Scully was far too sharp not to notice when she was being steered away from an area of conversation. "I think...the truth is that you miss me." Too close to home. Mulder paced away from the desk over to a file cabinet. He rested one arm over the top of it, staring anywhere but at his best friend. "I'm not used to feeling like an intruder in your life...as you partner or your friend." He raised his head. His words were rough, just louder than a whisper, ladden with inner strain. "How the hell do you expect me to act?" "I expect you to communicate with me." She shot back immediately. "You didn't get my singing telegram?" "Mulder..." A request that he be serious. She crossed her arms over her chest again. "Aaron believes he threatens the influence you have over me. That you resent that possibility. He thinks your used to having me at your beck and call." She paused, searching his expression. "I've never thought of it that way, but based on your recent actions..." A scowl wrinkled his forehead. "If that's what he said, then in my opinion as a profiler, Aaron is an ass." A snort form his diminutive partner. "You seem to have left an indelible impression on him as well." He observed her closed mouthed. He clearly had no intention of saying much else. "Mulder...let's play hooky." This time the normal interplay was out loud. "We don't have time." Mulder replied gesturing to the case file. "We'll make time." Scully was bending down and searching in the bottom drawer of her desk. When she straightened again she had an athletic bag in hand and Mulder knew what she had in mind. "We need fresh air, Mulder." Two years ago, during a nerve wracking case full of dead ends, Scully had surprised her co-worker with a gift. She'd gone out for an hour leaving Mulder alone with gruesome pictures he'd already been staring at all day. He'd barely noticed that she'd left. When she'd returned, she was carrying a large plastic bag from an athletic store. She opened the bag and tossed him a baseball glove from with-in. Scully had bought one for herself as well...and a baseball. Playing catch was something Mulder and his sister had done on a regular basis. It was something he had once loved. Scully was giving it back to him. Occasionally he and Scully would venture to a park with-in walking distance and exchange ideas as they tossed a baseball back and forth. He'd abandon his jacket on the grass, roll up his sleeves and try and look as natural as possible. Scully used much the same approach. Even if they didn't come up with any brilliant conclusions, at least they were smiling again by the time they went back to the basement. Throw. Catch. Throw. Catch. The male agent stood, glove on one fist, sleeves rolled up to reveal his muscular arms, waiting for her throw. The rhythm between the two agents was easy and effortless. She lobed the ball. He caught it, then brought his arm around in a fluid motion to toss it back. Catch. Throw. "Let me ask you something." The baseball landed in Mulder's glove and he took a moment to trace the curve of it with his two index fingers. "Is there any time of the day or night that I can't count on you no matter what the circumstances?" "You know I'm more than willing to be there for you if you need me." Throw. Catch. "I'd feel alienated if you didn't turn to me." Throw. "I feel the same way." Mulder slammed the baseball into his glove a few times to build the pocket. His eyes sidled up and met the Dana's speculative look. She was listening. Concentrating on what he was saying as if it was a hypothesis it was her duty to analyze. "It's not my fault your boyfriend is threatened by our relationship. He'll have to get used to it and to me." "This is *not* a competition." Dana insisted, the irritation seeping from her. "Mulder, you were the one that wanted to meet him." She felt the glove in her hand pound with the acceptance of Mulder's throw. "I don't understand your attitude." Mulder offered half a smile. "You'd be surprised how often people say that to me." Scully bent down to re-tie her tennis shoes. Her heels had been abandoned in the athletic bag when she'd arrived. It was a move designed to give her a moment to her collect her thoughts. She was keeping a lot from him. She'd never discussed Aaron with him before the meeting. Scully had likewise not told her friend about all the feelings of emptiness that she'd been trying to dissuade. Maybe it was a form of denial. She'd hoped the emotions would fade and everything would return to normal. Certainly this wasn't the first time she felt as if something was missing from her life. But unlike before, it wasn't going away. The wind curled a lock of fiery hair into her face and she brushed it away. The day, like most of the other fall days in D.C. could have been sunnier. It had been overcast for days and now was no exception. The air paraded over the earth lightly, shifting multicolored leaves near the ground of the trees they'd abandoned. The sun peaked through the darkness of the clouds above. Scully stood. "Mulder, I learned a lot about life when I was close to death. But I learned a lot more when life was once again handed to me." She met Mulder's eyes, linking her to him, refusing to let him go until he heard her out. "I've received a second chance. I don't want to dismiss it." Scully held the ball, concentrating on what she was saying. Trying to find the right words. "I've been...restless lately." He knew what she was feeling. An empty ringing had sounded shrilly in his life long ago. Only he knew exactly what he was missing. "You think I haven't realized that?" "I'm not sure - even you - understand all the implications." She answered softly, not wanting to hurt him. "I need to explore my options." Options like Aaron Cope, Mulder wanted to ask, but kept wisely silent. "Mulder, I need your support." Her voice held a slight quiver, letting him know the measure of importance she placed in having him on her side. "Your my best friend." She was admitting that she needed him, and Scully didn't admit to needing anyone. At certain moments a case would finally...finally push her toward her breaking point. Mulder would want to...help. He wasn't entirely certain how to offer a shoulder to lean on. Mentally, it was an easy concept. But if it was a talent, he had never displayed any skill at it. If it was learned...well, they didn't teach 'comfort' at Oxford. For she sake, he wanted to try. Nine times out of ten, before he could move, Scully would pull her arms in tight around herself and go rigid. Her body language clearly expressing she wanted to handle matters on her own. Right now, she was letting him in. Some silences were as binding as the most poignant promises. The tilt of Mulder's head. The faithful fire that that made his eyes turn from hazel to almost green. They told her his answer. Dana captivated by the depth of the feelings that twirled in his stare. Still partners. Now and always. That feeling was echoed in her own silent response. Always, Mulder. Promise. It was enough of a reassurance for them both to move on. Dana felt relief soak over her. "Scully...you...have plans tonight?" "No." Her attention was instant. "Why, did you need me?" Always, Mulder's heart answered and the agent ordered his higher emotions to simmer down and shut up. "Can you define 'need'?" She was ready with the text book answer, an appealing curve tilting up her mouth. "A state of necessity or urgency." "What I *need* is a million dollars, a trip to Europe and Drew Barrymore's phone number..." He caught the glove she playfully tossed at him just seconds before it crashed into his chest. "...but I'll settle for dinner with you." "I'm flattered." She responded with a healthy dose or sarcasm. "I accept if your buying." "Hey..." She waited, watching a strange play of emotions cross his face. "Invite Aaron to join us." He paused. "Okay?" Dana took some measure of approval from Mulder's invitation. He was trying. "Okay." <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> "So you believe that the Pyramids were built by aliens then?" Mulder looked to Scully for help. She'd had her hand pressed to her cheek and now raised it in a powerless gesture. Seeing no quarter, the agent turned back to Aaron Cope. "No one has a clear cut understanding of how some of the intricacies of the pyramids were constructed. I'm ..." He sank his straw in his drink, pulled it out and then sank it again. "...not willing to deny or accept any possibility." Cope leaned forward, setting his elbows on the table. He'd insisted on having one hand around Scully the entire night. Now was the only exception to that rule. "What your saying is that an extremely advanced culture, landed a thousands years ago and they left us pyramids as what - souvenirs?" Mulder glanced again to his partner. How did I get myself into this, his expression seemd to be asking. Her rounded chin lowered and she pursed her lips, barely trying to hide her humor. Wellll, Mulder? Her eyes broached a challenge for him to answer Aaron's question. She and Mulder had been catching each other's eyes all through the conversation, conveying mixed levels of dry merriment from the context. "Aaron," Mulder began with the calm voice of someone who'd had this argument a million times before. "Have you ever seen anything that defied all medical bounds?" He darted a look at Dana and apparently, realizing his lapse, moved his hand to twine with hers. "In college I once examined the autopsy report of a boy who'd lived to be eight years old before dying of complications." Cope rubbed his free hand across his face as he tried to regain the memory. "He had two brains. No one could explain how he lived to be eight or how...both brains seemed to be partially active. Connected in some way." Dana decided that her time of silence was at an end. Aaron had accused Mulder of attacking him the night they'd first met. Scully saw that her date was repaying the favor tonight. "I myself have seen miraculous things happen. People with no chance of recovery suddenly...healed." Scully hadn't told Cope about the cancer. She'd asked Mulder to respect that decison. For her, the hardest part of having the cancer was looking into the eyes of strangers. Finding there not respect or curiousity, but coddling for a weakness she could do nothing about. "People who've been told they can never walk again, walking again. I would say that religion combined with human will holds powerful but often unthought of venues." Relgion. It made them flip roles so that he became the skeptic and she the believer. Yet, as she had become open to his beliefs, he had found himself questioning the plauisbilty of hers. She'd spoken to purposefully throw her friend a bone. Mulder knew it and let a momentary flash of appreciation show. He winked. "I agree that - no answer - no matter how extreme should be initially set aside when trying to find answers for the unexplainable." He was playing with his straw again, twisting the top of it back and forth. "If your trying to seek the truth. But most people aren't, doc." "And what is it that most people are seeking, Mulder?" Aaron asked coolly. Scully, on her worst day, was open minded enough to at least hear him out. She judged what she heard afterward, but held back long enough for him to finish. Cope, on the other hand, wasn't listening. Mulder felt an obligation to answer, anyway. "To feel safe and comfortable with the world around them. With themselves." Aaron stared at him a long moment, as if deciding whether or not he'd just been insulted. "And you think this is cowardly?" Mulder sat back, biting down on his reply. "I think that this is broaching close to talking about work. Scully intended for us all to relax." A grateful look from his partner. Mulder wasn't one to let this type of discussions die easily. The dark eyes of Aaron Cope immediately swept to his date apologetically. "He's right. I'm sorry." Dana accepted the apology with her usual grace. "It's all right. I know first hand how interesting Mulder's theories can be. And he's adept at discussing them...at length..." She shot him a glance to let him know that the veiled insult was just a joke. Mulder felt chagrined enough to let his eyes fall toward the table top, almost shyly. When he raised his head again, he and Scully shared a smile. He wasn't a traditionally handsome man, but when he smiled something about him was decidely appealing. A soild click heralded inside her at the shared amusement. "But...speaking of relaxation..." Aaron began. Scully tore her eyes from Mulder. They communicated without speaking all the time. The gift and curse of being partners. "I don't know if this is the time or place..." Aaron glanced doubtfully at Mulder. Apparently any qualms he had didn't last because he went on. "But I...I've arranged it so I have this weekend completely free." The usually confident man seemed nervous and she found the change in him intriguing. "I know it's short notice but...I saw an ad for a Bahamas weekend and I thought of you..." He reached his pocket and produced an envelope. "I was hoping you'd join me." It was the last thing in the world she'd expected. It was sweet and impulsive and...she wasn't ready. A weekend meant the possibility of intimacy. A deeper exploration of their relationship. Scully had asked him to keep it casual. She had been honest about her reservations from the beginning. Yet accepting this offer and expecting things to continue casually seemed, in her mind, a lie. "I explained to you, Aaron, that my occupation isn't one where I can simply pick up and disappear on short notice. Even if I want to at times." Cope was nonplused. "I arranged my paging system to be able to reach us. If there's an emergency we'll get you back." He stroked his hand over her cheek. It was a pleasant sensation. "Dana, you deserve to pamper yourself every now and again." She shook her head and gave a rueful smile. "It looks like you thought of everything." "Well?" Aaron probed. Scully glanced over his head at Mulder who was staring at the wall to the left of him as if he expected it to come to life at any moment. Seeking one another's opinion through a shared look had become second nature. This time, apparently, Mulder was opting for neutrality. Her eyes came back to the dark pools of the man offering her a vacation. "Can I think it over for a night...a weekend get away seems intriguing, but I..." He lifted his palms before him to quiet her. His face was still brimming with good cheer. "I'll call you tomorrow." Aaron was easy to get along with. Very different from her argumentative partner. *And that's the problem,* a little voice inside Dana insisted. "Speaking of which, I have an early morning." Cope extended his hand to Mulder who took it briefly. "I trust you'll see Dana home?" A wordless nod. Aaron turned again to Scully and cupped her chin in his hand, lowering his mouth to hers. A brief but intimate kiss. Not quite willing to give up the closeness, Aaron dropped a kiss on her brow as well. "Talk to you tomorrow, angel." "Night Aaron." Dana murmured with an upturned mouth. Aaron had a way of making her feel entirely feminine. Entirely appreciated. She watched him as he moved away. He had a nice physique. Strong. When he kissed her, she did feel a ginger rush of pleasure. But...She sighed to herself. But... Fox Mulder's expression was strained as he watched Dana leering after Cope's retreating form. He'd counted three kisses at dinner. Not to mention Cope's constant groping of Scully's hand, shoulders and back. Mulder had bore it all with a smile, turning a blind eye. Refusing to break his unspoken promise to her. His eyes remained fixed on the table for a long moment and then rose to give her a pointed look. Scully was already breaking down the Bahamas question, but she didn't miss the feeling behind the stare. "What?" Mulder unbuttoned the top button of his white collared shirt and loosened his tie. "Nothing." A flash of agitation. What the heck was it with him? Was he incapable of giving a straight answer anymore? "No." She admonished. "What?" A shrug. "Nothing." Dana didn't bother to say anything this time, she just folded her hands before her and gave him 'the look.' The one that said he had better start making sense and soon. "Okay, let's break down the list." He ticked off the objects on his fingers as he spoke. "Chocolate, perfume, flowers..." He paused there, "Lots of flowers." He noted. "...and now a cruise." The atmosphere around them changed instanta[N]eously. Tension. Again. It was a common theme lately. One minute everything would be okay and the next it was as if they were two bowstrings that had been pulled too tightly. Both of straining for control of pressure that was seething between them. Here we go again, thought Dana. She'd been rather impressed with him at dinner. He'd been extraordinarily cordial. Aaron had purposefully tried to provoke him several times. Mulder had backed down each time. She was going to have a talk with Aaron about that the next time they were alone. "So?" Mulder gave her an incredulous look. It was if he'd expected her to read his mind and was surprised that she hadn't. "Don't you find this obvious manufacturing of romantic moments a bit... tedious?" Dana Scully felt herself switch into defensive mode. No reason existed for him to talk down to her. "You wouldn't know a romantic moment if it crawled up your underwear." Tension. Mulder pursed his lips, pausing before speaking his thoughts. "I just wouldn't have believed you to be so gullible." Tension. She blinked twice slowly trying to recover from his words. "Because I sometimes appreciate being treated like a lady?" More tension. "Have you considered that sometimes being treated like a lady comes very close to being treated as an adornment?" He pressed his finger tips to his chest, gesturing toward himself. "I guess I just don't see things the way good Ol' Aaron does." She felt irritation descending all over her. She tried to hold it in check. "Mulder, I awoke from a coma and you gave me a football video. You don't see anything the way anyone does." Pain flashed in his eyes. Somehow the off[-]hand remark had hit him with more force than she'd intended. "I wanted to make you smile." He said tightly. The answer figuratively almost knocked her over. "What?" Mulder gave a slow shake of his head. "I needed to make you to smile at me." He wrapped the straw he'd been playing with earlier around his index finger. "I believed if I could, everything would be fine. I needed to know it would be." She had smiled. It had been okay. She'd felt safe again the moment he'd unveiled his present. Same old Mulder. She couldn't remember what had happened, but she was protected. Surrounded by those she...What may have been a tender moment turned on them in the next instant. He let go of the straw and rapped the table top lightly. "You scared the hell out of me, Scully. Then you did it again with the cancer." It wasn't what he wanted to say. Or the way he wanted to say it. They never talked about things like fear. Now that he finally managed to bring it up, he'd thrown it into her face like an accusation. Was he blaming her for having cancer? Oh sure, she'd done that just to worry him. It was all a master plot designed to get him give her that sad puppy dog look every time he looked at her. Jerk. "And you in the Arctic and in Russia...and with Roche and...." He was still tense. So much so that he couldn't seem to sit still. "I think if we're going to rehash ancient history you should shoot me now and save us both some time." If he was going to keep acting that way, she might consider it. What was it with him lately? For that matter, since when was her temper a match ready to be spark instead of a long steady line leading to a dynamite of ice? Something about these recent bouts with Mulder was beginning to make her feel out of control. She pushed herself back into reasoning mode decisively. "Mulder, Aaron is an intelligent, generous, romantic man..." "Back to 'r' word again?" He made it sound as if it was a disease. "I happen to consider it a positive trait." "You think I don't?" She didn't bother to answer. So, Scully didn't believe him capable of the sentiment good Ol' Dr. Cope exhibited. Mulder felt his tightly pushed down frustrations buck forward, threatening to jump his well contructed inner fences. He hunched his body over the table toward her, close enough so that he could speak with total privacy. "You interested in conducting a little experiment, Special Agent Scully?" Instantly Dana felt weariness sink over her. She wanted to sit back, away from him. She forced herself to stay as she was. "What kind of experiment?" "My assertion is there's more to romance than the show and tell gimmick method." The challenge was clear in his eyes. "You want to prove me wrong?" "If Aaron were being insincere, then maybe I'd agreed with you." Aaron saw other women. He was just as extravagant in his gifts to them. He simply liked being generous. "You didn't answer my question." It had stopped being an arguement about Aaron. Dana understood that. She wasn't certain it had ever truly been about Aaron. She also wasn't sure she knew what it *was* about. Dana gritted her teeth. "I didn't realize you were serious." His countenance was one hundred percent mocking. "One night to prove my hypothesis." His vocal inflection was just above a purr in her ears. She had to force herself not to drop her gaze to his mouth. "That there's different kinds of romance and that I'm not a total loser. " That was old ground. "I never said..." He finally leaned back, casually laying one arm around the seat beside him. "Do we have a deal or not?" His attitude was driving her crazy. "Fine." He nodded, refusing to look away despite her glare. "How's tomorrow? You have any plans with Aaron or anyone else?" Ice was coming off of Scully in waves. "Tomorrow night's free." "Then I'll pick you up at 7:30." Their drinks were finished in silence. As was the car ride back to Scully's apartment. Mulder walked her up, as he normally did when he drove her, but maintained a wordless vigil. She didn't invite him in. Inside Scully sank into an old comfortable chair and wondered what on earth she'd just gotten herself into. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Date. When a man asks a woman...No that wasn't politically correct at all. After all, women asked men out all the time in this day and age. Better try again. When one member of the opposite sex asks another member of the opposite sex... No, still not P.C. enough. Okay, when one individual asks another individual... Unless you were married and into the swinging scene. Which would mean two individuals asking one individual... Ah, the hell with it. Mulder's sneakers pounded into the track in even strides as thoughts twirled of the night to come. He was a bit later than usual this morning. A purposeful effort to stall going into the office. He wasn't sure he was ready to face Scully so soon after his hasty words the night before. Dew sparkled in the grass near the track. The entire morning was wet and misty, clinging to Mulder's face and bare arms as he moved. The fall air was brisk but Mulder barely felt it. Too much was on his mind. Jogging, porn and an obsession for the truth: his three major vices. Unless you counted a auburn haired scientist with a calm demeanor and one hell of a heart, a vice. Mulder jerked his wrist up so he could look at his watch, not once breaking the form of his motion. His frustration had gotten him into this. Five long years of silence. His words had been quick and unplanned. They'd rushed out and he'd been unable to stop them. Her acceptance was as ill advised and irrational as the offer itself. It had all happened too dammed fast. Looking back, it was as if he'd stepped outside of himself. *Scully, the aliens made me do it* He would never get closer to living out his fantasies than he would tonight. It would mean everything. And it would mean nothing. It would be a blip in a bigger picture. It would have the floating feel of a a dream, and then he'd wake up. The night would end. He'd go on. He'd let her go on. The memory would be his. To hold on to. He was heading into his fifth lap. Normally by lap five, he'd slowed his jog, or even fallen into a walk. To work the kinks out before he headed home. Still stalling, Mulder he asked himself, dammed right I am. Twelve laps later, he was standing at his apartment door, hurrying to get it open. The phone was ringing. Probably Scully wondering where on earth he was. He left the door open in his haste. Mulder snatched the phone to his ear and muttered a greeting. The voice on the other end wasn't familiar. Keeping phone in hand, Mulder went to his door and shut it, listening. *No.* He sat, feeling his couch give under his weight. The caller was a man who had information, so he said. Even as Mulder felt the familiar pulse of excitement rush in his veins, another part of him rebelled. The man on the other line was explaining about the existence of a series of photographs. *Hang up Mulder*. The photos had been taken by a journalist trying to uncover dirt on a United States Senator. *No, No, No.* What the photos apparently showed was military and government officials engaged in the clearing of what looked to be wreckage of an unidentified flying object...and several small thin bodies. *Hang up, Mulder.* The man on the phone simply wanted to get rid of the pictures. The journalist was dead. This man was his brother. He had a family. Didn't want them to be in danger. The original photographer had died in car accident while apparently drunk. Only the journalist had never had more than root beer his entire life. A history of parental alcohol abuse had cleared both brothers of the compulsion. Could Mulder meet with him tonight? *Tonight.* Mulder sank a hand into his hair. He asked a few more questions. The voice on the other line became more urgent. A moment later, Mulder was setting the phone down quietly. He sat back, leaning his head against the wall behind him. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Mulder set a small bag on Scully's desk as he walked into thier office. "I got you a danish." In all the time, they'd been working together, Mulder had never brought her breakfast. If they were following true to form, the night before was forgiven and forgotten. They would pretend the arguement had never happened. "Thanks..." Scully said uncertainly. Something In Mulder's expression tipped her off. He was biting his lower lip, looking slightly disconcerted. "Everything okay?" He looked decidedly uncomfortable. "Could you check the main frame for a photographer on the Utah Daily Journal called Simon Kasdan?" Scully turn toward her computer and began moving her mouse. She gave Mulder a glance while seeking the information. "What's going on?" He leaned on edge of her desk as she worked, watching her pull up the information. "That's what I'm trying to find out." "Well apparently the name is real." Scully concluded, still not sure what Mulder was up to, but willing to play along silently for the time being. "He was a freelancer but he's here. Several of his pictures even made the front page." "Can you find out if there's any records of his death? Or if he has a brother?" Scully watched the screen intently, her fingers flying over the keyboard as if she was a maestro at a piano. "He died a week ago. There was a small tribute article in the Journal." Her eyes stole up to his. "We could probably find out about his family. That would take a little more time." Mulder stood and paced the length of the office. "Does it say how he died?" "Car accident." Mulder felt his interest double. Enough facts corroborated the caller's story to warrant looking at the photos. Moreover Mulder believed the man on the phone had been sincere. "Mulder." Her partner's head jerked toward her. "Are we there yet?" A joke. An attempt at levity in the frame of a question she had every right to ask. Time to ante up, Mulder thought reluctantly. "I received a call this morning from a man claiming to be Simon Kasdan's brother. He has some photographic evidence he wants me to take off his hands." "Evidence of what?" "A United States Senator and an aircraft of unknown origin. Not to mention three bodies, also of unknown origin." Try as he might he couldn't keep the excitement from his voice and face. "I thought you weren't sure you believed in that stuff anymore?" A direct quote from him, not her. "I guess old habits die hard." He mused lightly. "He wants to meet with me tonight." Scully suddenly understood the significance of the danish. It was an atonement. Silence ruled the room for a long moment. "Look, I'm sorry I..." "I'm not really surprised." She said, cutting him off. His brows drew down hard over his eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?" She shrugged. Well, you always wondered what it would be like to be involved with Mulder, Dana reminded herself. Welcome to the real world. "Well it's always something with you, Mulder." He got the distinct feeling that this conversation was about to take a nasty turn. "You think I should put the warrants of our little experiment above something that could lead us a step closer to the truth?" Under normal circumstances she would never hold his search for the truth against him. She understood this side of him. Respected it. Yet in this case, she couldn't help feeling like she'd been pushed aside. Again. "Have you ever noticed that every time I come close to seeing sides of your personality you aren't comfortable with, something comes up." "I don't recall ever weaving any illusions about who I am." She was acting spurned. It was beyond his comprehension of the woman before him. "I'm not the one who keeps all my fears inside till the last possible moment. I'm not the one who seems completely dissatisfied with the job as of late and refuses to talk about it." "I'm not dissatisfied." She corrected angrily. He made her sound like a flippant teenager. She was looking straight at him, unabashed. "I've thought about leaving, is that what you want to talk about?" Mulder felt everything stop. As well as he knew her, he hadn't realized. His Adam's apple worked with emotion. Hurt. Dull stabbing pain. Cold shock. Emptiness. Rage. Rage won out over everything else in his heart. "Why start now?" He said distantly. He straightened, eyeing her without a shred of emotion. "I need to do a background check on Simon Kasdan and his brother." Without another word, Scully turned back to the computer screen, her own poker face an equal match to his. "I'll see what else I can find." ***** End part 2 'ROMANTIC' by Mariacomet Part: 3/4 Summary: After her cancer goes into remission, Scully begins to question the direction of her life. Mulder confronts his feelings as she turns to another man. The partners conduct a 'romantic' experiment and realize that the answer to Scully's restlessness may not be farther than her best friend. Archive: Yes. Keep me as the writer and let me know is all I ask. Rating: Parts 1 through Part 3 will be PG. Part 4...different rating entirely. Category: MSR. If your a non-shipper, re-read the title and run for your life. :) Timeline: Spoilers for Detour and Post Prometheus. Basically this continues after those episodes as if Christmas Carol never happened. Disclaimer: See part 1. Thanks: To Amber for the Expense Account Wars. Which kept me laughing. To all the people who gave a little lizard a second chance and helped me keep writing. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> The evil Miestro sat in his arctic castle and watched the view screen eagerly. On the screen a brown, garden variety lizard sat in a glass cage eating a bagel. The cage lay just next to a computer where a young would- be writer was typing feverishly. "Bring me the cookbooks." The evil one bade one of his nearby servants. The small goblin like creature hobbled off and then summarily returned with a book entitled "101 Ways to Cook a Lizard." Miestro licked his lips and rubbed his hands together. WAIT. (Suddenly a friend of the writer barges in her room. ) Friend: Just HANG on. Me: Huh? Friend: This is getting really twisted. Your losing it. There are laws against this kind of inhumane treatment of animals. You can't send the lizard to Antarctica. Do you want the National Society for Protecting Lizards in here? I don't think so. Me: (thinking that over) Can we send a spider? Friend: NO! Me: How about a flea? Friend: Never mind. Just never mind. Me: A caterpillar? (Friend barges out of room, mumbling under her breath) Send all requests to SAVE CANDICE THE CATERPILLAR to: Mariacomet@hotmail.com <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>> (Part 3) The world could not fall apart. Not for her. If her life wasn't simplistic, then Dana Scully took great comfort in the fact that it was contained. Even in the realm of the X-files, she had found, as she always did - a normalcy to the pattern of her days. A consistency. Sanity with-in the insanity. Her world maintained itself carefully. It did not falter, no more than Scully herself did. Yet the world had fallen apart. At least once. Her core had been abruptly pulled from under her. By a death that should have been hers and the lost of a sister who had not believed in restraint. Dana had been the overachiever. Except for brief periods of rebellion, the 'good' one. Melissa, on the other hand, was the black sheep. The rebel. She'd loved life, wanting to squeeze all she could from it. Melissa had been better at living than Scully. She'd experienced more. She'd been unafraid. Yet Melissa was gone and the sister that had always been held captive by her fears was the one that remained. When Dana had first been assigned to the X-files, she had stayed because her superiors had asked it of her. Eventually she had come to believe that there were forces whose concealment caused the past to have an undue hold on the present. Puppet masters who manipulated the justice she had vowed to protect. She came to have faith, not in Mulder's theories, but in his quest. In turn, she also came to trust in the man himself. After her abduction, she had been infuriated. The work was a pacifier. She fought through her confusion by diving into the science of each case. When her sister had died, the X-files had become a path for her grief. A method of keeping the promise to herself, her sister and her family, to bring Melissa's killers into the light. To take the silence that was so precious to them. To find answers. The list of reasons had once seemed substantial and they had held her relentlessly by Mulder's side. Yet Dana felt her resolve faltering more with each day. Her sister would probably say that there was more to life...more than one truth and more than one way to seek it. Dana Scully sat down beside the headstone of the grave, pulling up her knees under her and staring into the distance. Melissa would have liked the graveyard that lay between the two churches. It had an antique feel to it. Tall oak trees stretched their limbs out everywhere, shading the graves and serving as their protectors. The yard was well maintained. Dana hadn't been to visit the grave in over a year. Yet in the last two weeks she had come almost every day. Melissa's grave had a small headstone bearing an angel and her name. A quote from one of their mother's favorite poems was the only other marking other than the date of her birth and her death. "She sleeps with angels," the marker read. Dana shut her eyes feeling a strain of tears come to her. Only now as she sat alone did she allow her defenses to crumble. The strong veneer gave way to vulnerability. Is this what it had come to? Was the living seeking advice from the dead on how to live? It was a pathetic irony. Melissa had always been able to see through Dana. Her eyes had easily beheld the self doubts that every one else seemed blind to. Scully felt words rise in her. Words she had shoved down again and again for a long time. Avenues she was fearful to take. Choices that lay unresolved in her heart, taking her concentration and withholding her joy. " They have stolen you, and three months of memories...five years of work...and almost my life." Scully began. The beginning was never easy, but once started, it became a current that was nearly impossible to stop. "I feel...trapped. Walled in by the hands of strangers. I don't want to disappoint anyone. Not you...mom...Mulder....or even myself." Dana felt tears of frustration begin to course slowly over her cheek. "How did I get here?" She shook her head and felt her shoulder begin to tremble. Scully's head tilted so that it was resting against the grave marker. "Can I let go now, Missy? Will it be okay if I let go?" The trees yielded no answers and swayed without sound in the wind. From the grave, Melissa had no comfort to offer. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Aaron's golden eyes were on hers, and he was holding her hand as they stood on the veranda of his apartment. Her attention should have been on him. Yet she found herself unable to kept her gaze from the stars. "Dana?" "Hmm?" Aaron leaned in and set his head on her shoulder. "You don't really believe everything this partner of yours does?" Dana felt her mouth corners twitch upward, yet she didn't look from the sky. It was a cloudy night, but she could still spot occasional points of light. "Mulder and I shared a certain odd unity. Not in belief but in purpose." "It's just that, what I can tell of him ..." Now Dana did turn, drawing away. Uncertain she was going to like what he would tell her. "I know you're close...but he isn't exactly on the fast track." Aaron hesitated, obviously uncomfortable with what he was about to say, but pressing on anyway. "Eventually he might stand in the way of your career." Dana hadn't spoken ill of her partner to anyone in years. Somehow, even when she was angriest at him, it seemed important to show a unified front. "I don't consider Mulder a hindrance in any way." "Well, I'll tell you that even in your personal life...well...he does make his presence felt." She eyed him coolly. "Like you made yours felt the other night at dinner?" Not a judgment. Not even a rebuke. Just a fact and a request for an explanation. He shook his head with an embarrassed smile. "I thought you were acting a little upset with me." Her date acknowledged. "I just..." His eyes met hers helplessly. "You put everything on hold for him." Maybe she did. Or maybe she put everything aside for the F.B.I. Maybe it was her own search for answers that had lead her to be so uninvolved in her own life. Sometimes the border between the three became blurred. "Your always defending him. To me...you said your family..." "My brother." She corrected. Her mother felt a great deal of compassion for Mulder. Dana suspected that on some level Maggie Scully pitied her partner. Such a brilliant man wasting his life. But her mother didn't know him. Too few people had ever been given that particular gift. Even with all her recent irritation with him, the bond they had formed was more important than any personality flaws. More important than either of them individually ever could be. "You're a special woman. I want to see to it that your treated that way." Aaron meant what he said. She could see something dark and intense in his stare. An unspoken question. Dana felt a jump pass through her as she recognized that he was holding his heart in his eyes. His feelings for her were becoming far more than casual. He made no attempt to hide it. He slowly reached forward and took each of her hands in his. "You still haven't answered me about the trip to the Bahamas." No, she hadn't. She could be happy with Aaron. She saw that path so clearly. He was a good man. Descent in every way that she'd ever wanted. Ahab, her father, would have loved him. Bill would love him. Scully wasn't sure about herself. Two months and she felt...lukewarm. Scully wondered if she was capable of falling in love. If anyone seemed a proper candidate it was Aaron. Yet there she was, as in control and logical as always. Her heart remaining just where it was. Intact. "Aaron," Scully began gently. "I think that you'll tell me - if I ask - that this trip has no strings attached to it. That I'm free to make of it whatever I want to." He started to speak, but she didn't let him. "But I don't believe that would be the truth. Not for me. And not for you." She hesitated. "I'm going to request a reassignment at work - just for a few days. I need to time to make some decisions." She wasn't just requesting time away from the X-files, she needed Aaron to give her room as well. He seemed to understand. "Any of those decisions about me?" "Most importantly," Dana gave a soft smile. She meant no offense with her next words. "All of them...are about me." "You all right?" A wave of concern was coming from Aaron, as if he knew something was lay deeper than her words, but he couldn't place his finger on it. Scully said what she always did. "I'm fine." <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Three and a half hours. In the rain. A hour drive there. An hour back. In the fucking rain. All time wasted. The informant, a.k.a. Louis Kasdan, had never showed. It wasn't the first false lead he'd ever had. Far from it. Yet this one left him feeling more discouraged than usual. His sneakers pounded at the clay track mercilessly. He was dressed in his oxford sweater and shorts. The items had been quickest to grab. He hadn't slept much the night before. That was hardly unusual. Scully always seemed to sleep like a log, rarely complaining of nightmares. Or maybe she just didn't tell him. That was possible too. Scully. His breathing didn't have the normal flow to it that it normally did. It didn't have the right pattern. Damm. Chasing shadows again. Did he believe in aliens? Mulder faltered and then cursed at himself. A poster in his office still proclaimed proudly "I want to believe." It was still there. Not taken down as a relic. Yet Mulder hadn't looked at it in quite some time. He'd refused to look at it. Lies. Double talk. Informants in the mist, intruding on his life. The truth. Men or extraterrestrial? Did he believe? Kasdan had been the latest in a career's worth of the equivalent to Mulder chasing after his own tail. Round and round. Getting nowhere. Scully had accused him of being afraid. Maybe he was. Mulder was never good at admitting defeat. Especially not in front of his partner. He was only on his second lap. He couldn't seem to let his mind go. Not today. To hell with it. It was going to be a long day at the office what with the most recent cold war between him and his partner. The sooner he got it started, the sooner it would be over with. Hopefully by tomorrow things would thaw. Mulder walked half a lap to try and work out any cramps that would result from a sudden slowing of his muscles. Then he went home to shower and grab a suit. He came into the basement with a mask of self righteous. Ready to dare her to be angry at him when all he'd done was pursue the truth. He held his own agitation toward her lack of support in check, waiting to see her reaction. She wasn't at her desk when he came in as he expected her to be. Scully was always there before he was. The only thing that waited for him in the office was a note. From her. Mulder read it and then read it again, thinking there must be a mistake. He crumbled the note into a ball and started for the door, moving in quick strides. His jaw was locked as he walked toward the elevators. It took him twenty minutes to find Scully, but find her he did. She was in a lab coat holding up a small vial of bluish chemical and examining a small object with-in it. "Scully?" Another lab rat approached. An older man of some years. "Can I help you?" Mulder ignored him. "Scully." He repeated. Scully looked at her partner and sighed softly. She didn't bother to step toward him. "What are you doing here Mulder?" Mulder held up the crumpled piece of paper. "May I ask when you requested this change of scenery?" She tugged off her lab goggles and brushed past him, heading into the back room to wash her hands. "Yesterday. I felt that my talents could best be used elsewhere for a while." Talk to me Scully, Mulder thought almost violently, what the hell is going on? This wasn't about the fact that he'd gone running off after answers once again. He'd seen that anger. This was something else entirely. It wasn't a reaction of temper, it was one of weariness. Restless. This was about the future. Her future. It was her fucking life, right? Her choice. Nothing to do with him, right? She was withdrawing. Cutting him out. "And you didn't feel the need to discuss this with me before you made your decision?" "Mulder, we're in the same building." She answered ever patient. "If you need me, all you have to do is pick up a phone." A pause and then he nodded. In other words, she wasn't going to talk about it. Not any more than she already had. "I guess I'm just not used to you acting petty." It was like being slapped when he spoke to her so carelessly. She didn't let it show. Another stare between them, a meeting of wills. "I think you can do without me for a few days." "And what do they have you doing up here, exactly?" His voice was condescending. Bitterness filled his palette. "At the moment, I'm trying to pinpoint a time of death." Funny, Mulder thought to himself, that sort of feels like what I'm trying to do. "What happened with your meeting?" He pinched the bridge of his nose. He wasn't in the mood to try and make excuses. "I was stood up." "I'm sorry." She meant it. That was Scully. Then more quietly, as she dried her hands. "I'll see you in a few days." A dismissal. "Anything you want, Scully." He muttered and then pivoted away from her and made his exit. Dana felt an urge to go after him. She just wasn't sure what she'd say if she caught up to him. Keeping her calm posture, she dabbed the towel at her face, then headed back out to the laboratory. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> He hadn't seen her in two days. Hadn't talked to her. She wanted space. Fine. He gave it to her. The days didn't pass as quickly. The work was just as absorbing, but not as fulfilling. The fuel for the fire was gone. It stilled burned, but the kindling was much darker, less full of heat. Insistent as always, but offering no sense of joy. Only one of need. It had been five years since he'd willingly been without her. He was used to looking to her desk and finding thoughtfulness embodied in her person. Knowing that she was there. Five years. Always. The second day dragged on. He went to an adult theater after work. That was a past time he hadn't taken in for a while. Why go out when you had video? It was easy to loose himself on the lust-filled images. It was a week night so the place was deserted. He sat through one features, then another. Arousal tugged at him. It was an effective drug. One that made him feel, but not on a personal level. It absorbed him. His mind was blocked out by it. His past. His guilt. His heart. Mulder wasn't sure what had made him drive to her apartment so obscenely late at night. Or what prompted his fingers to snap off a flower from a bush was he started the stoop to her apartment building. He hesitated before her door, then fumbled for the key on his key ring that was marked as hers. With a click the lock gave and he moved inside. Everything was dark. The only sound was a soft classical music flowing from the stereo near Scully's couch. Mozart. Scully had once confided in him that it helped her sleep when nothing else would. She always kept a tablet of paper by her phone in the kitchen. He searched for it, not bothering to turn on the light. For some reason it felt wrong to disturb anything from it's natural state. He removed a pen from his coat pocket and turned on his flashlight. A brief note and he'd lay the flower atop it in hopes that she'd take it for what it was - a request to end the silence. Scully, Brought you a patient. It was drowning out there in the rain. It would have been irresponsible for me to leave it behind. See you soon. Mulder. Then he drew a check sized scrap of paper from his shirt pocket and lay it atop the note. Written in Mulder's sloppy cursive handwriting was "One Romantic Evening..." And along the top it was marked in larger neat letters: "I.O.U" Not an apology. Not exactly. He wasn't sure he'd done anything wrong. A peace offering. Suddenly light flood the room, and Scully stood there gun out stretched before her. If it was possible to be sexy and armed she was managing it. She stood there in a long night shirt that ran just to mid-thigh. Her hair was rumpled with sleep, her eyes not quite alert. Realizing who the intruder was, she set down he gun on the counter with a curse. "We've got to stop meeting like this." Mulder remarked with a smile. Scully took in the presence of his flashlight and then the flower. "What's that?" Mulder didn't answer. He let the note speak for him. She read. It almost drew a smile from her, but not quite. It was a nice gesture certainly, but there was still so much left unsaid. The last two days had added to the strain. Dana didn't know what had prompted this visit, but she did know she wasn't emotionally ready for another argument. Especially not now. "Mulder, it's after two in the morning." She looked him over. He was still dressed as he had been at work. But his hair was ruffled and slightly damp from the rain. He wore black trench coat over his suit, unbuttoned. She felt the urge to nag him for that, but didn't. "I didn't mean to wake you." Her eyes were so soft and tired all at the same time. It hurt him to see her looking at him like that. As if he was snake that might bite her. Mulder stroked a fallen lock of hair away from her eyes with one finger, not daring to touch her more than that. He summoned the briefest sliver of humor. "You know...I'm beginning to feel like all I do is let you down." Dana's hands reached out to him, feeling he was about to pull away. She didn't want him to just yet. She took his fingers in her own. "I think lately we've let each other down." She answered, honest as always. A crack started in the walls between them. Mulder moved forward slowly and set the flower behind her ear. Her eyes leapt to his. He smiled. A beautiful, heartfelt smile. Carefully, Mulder reached out and toyed with the fragile petals that now rested just above the shell of her ear. "It's late." He tilted his head to one side, his eyes glowed with warmth, inviting her inside them. You know, with all my talk the other night. I forgot to ask you what *you* consider romantic." Once again, they were sweeping everything under the proverbial rug. Ignoring the deeper topics at hand. Always ready to let silence and time heal all the bruises laying in wait between them. Scully knew she should talk to him. Explain. Yet she found herself unable to. In the end, she didn't try. Dana remained somber, divided by the struggles with-in her. Eager to move on past the moment so that she could shut her feelings away again in a safe place. "I'll show you." Scully started toward the living room, motioning that he should follow. In the darkened room, the only light was coming from the kitchen. Dana positioned one of his hands on her waist. She drew his other arm out straight. "You know how to waltz?" Mulder tried to keep from looking overly surprised. "I haven't since my eighth birthday party with my Aunt Grace." He was willing to try. Starting out, they were awkward. Mulder was a graceful man, normally. It was just that he wasn't entirely comfortable with what he was now doing. In the background, the strains of Mozart were soft and steady acting, as their balance and time keeper. Suddenly a smile broke over her lips. "What?" He asked, feigning insult. "I can see your lips moving as you count." He made face and stopped his movements. His eyes squinted defiantly at her. "And this is what you consider romantic?" She drew away from him and headed toward the stereo. "It's one possibility." Carefully she removed the c.d. from the player, put it back in it's case and chose another one. The past few days were all but forgotten now. They both had drifted into their more customary roles and attitudes. "So is this." The soft chords of a saxophone began to fill the room. Mulder recognized the music. "After the eight or ninth time you forced me to listen to this, it grew on me." She started back to him, the pajama top swaying loosely against her legs as she moved. "A woman after my own heart." It was meant to be glib, but Mulder didn't quite pull it off. This time the dance was far less formal. Much more dangerous. Mulder's arms came around her automatically. Her bare legs shifted against his own. His fingers trailed up and down her back. He felt her spine adjust to the contact. "I always thought your type of woman to be more...Leggy." He raised an inquisitive eyebrow. Under his trench coat, his shirt still felt crisp and warm to the touch. She slide her hands up, moving over his stomach and then his ribs. His heart beat teased under her fingers. "Like Bambi - the entomologist. You know...leggy." The teasing was good natured. "Even I get lonesome." It was his defense and his excuse. It was also true. She had been attractive. Mulder had been tempted. He'd loved Dana even then, but it was one sided. Yet what Mulder had discovered was that he derived more pleasure from Scully's irritated reaction to Bambi, than out of Bambi herself. "I never think of you that way." Dana tilted her head back slightly. Bangs had fallen lazily unto his forehead. His eyes had turned a shade darker, almost emerald in color. He smelled of sweat and rain and cologne. Mulder the rebel, she mused. "I've worried that you seemed alone at times, but not that you were lonely." "That's cause I'm such a tough guy." He quipped in a low voice. His large hand was splayed over the small of her back, stroking up slowly. His fingertips were causing shivers everywhere. All over her back where he was touching. All over her body where he wasn't. "I can't tell - is this where I inflate or deflate your ego?" Scully tried to sound as normal as possible. "You know, I find that statement strangely arousing." That long suffering look from her. The one that said she wasn't taking him seriously. Good. He lowered his head, setting his cheek against hers. A light bit scruff was doting over his chin. Five O'clock shadow. The feel of it brushing over her neck was amazing. Her mouth had gone dry. Her lips parted, watching his own, now so close to hers once again. So easy to give in, Mulder considered. They were both lonely. He could make her want him. Fulfill everything their bodies were teasing each other with and more. Not a night of love, not on Dana's part. Not even one of need. Simply one fueled by want. Whatever she desire was feeling now, would fall empty between them afterward. Used up. That was the way lust was. Mulder did what he always did, he tried to protect her. Even from themselves. He stilled his hands and brought her head to rest on his shoulder. Gently, he continued to move with her. Mulder let the desire fall away and just held her. Carefully. Protective. Dana was motionless for a moment but then relaxed. Her body was still craving his but the urgency was beginning to calm, settling into dull throbbing place inside of her. Not completely fading, simply retreating. She realized that was the way it was with her feelings for Mulder. The attraction was becoming as constant as the affection. She'd become adept at regulating her feelings long ago. Not just with her partner, but with most men. With most people. Control meant strength. Strength meant safety. More and more she was beginning to feel defenseless around Mulder. It terrified her. The unsettled core that had lately become such a large focus of her life, gnawed at her heart again. Refusing to let her have peace. She suddenly needed her best friend. Not her co-worker. Not a potential lover. Her best friend. She needed him and he was there. She gave in to the comfort of his embrace. They danced. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Scully heard her cell phone ring and peered one more long moment into the lab microscope before breaking away. "Dana Scully." She answered. "I called Louis Kasdan's house just after I left last night." Mulder. She almost felt herself smile. She fought the urge. It wasn't entirely surprising that Mulder hadn't let the matter of the photographs go. He had never been one to give up easily. She did smiled at the thought. It was the understatement of the century. "You left my apartment at after three a.m." Sometimes she wondered if he had any true concept of time after five p.m. That didn't seem to bother her fellow agent. "Based on the information we found out about him, we know he has two kids." 'We' Mulder had said. He was including her despite her reassignment. Just as he'd once sought to include her - long ago when the X-files had shut down. For Mulder it was the ultimate sign of affection. "It's a school night. I figured someone was bound to be home." A subtle peak of interest made her brow pinch. "And?" "No answer." Unusual, but not unexplainable, Scully considered. She let her mind dissect the information, before filing it away. "Mulder...the investigation in which I've been gathering forensic evidence is going to last a few days longer." Dana was supposed to have been back in the X-files yesterday according to the original request. But they needed her medical background and an extra set of hands. "They want to serve a warrant this weekend and we still don't have anything conclusive." The silence lasted too long. "Yeah well...You'll get him, Scully." Scully thanked him in her heart. He was trying to understand. He didn't, but he was trying. This isn't personal, Mulder, she thought, please don't think it is. The truths in the lab were more definite. Positive or negative. Yes or no. She had always relished the investigative process. Being allowed to deal with human beings that were alive and well instead of only being content with piecing together what they left behind. Making a difference. Putting herself on the line. Pushing the limits of her abilities. Her goals had been every different five years ago, her ambitions bright and burning like an orb in front of her. Were things really so different? Her focus had changed from promotions and titles to unmasking devils with human faces. Lately she felt a pull to make her objectives more rudimentary. Yet she still wanted what she had long ago...to make a difference. "I appreciate the vote of confidence." She murmured quietly. For once, it seemed, he'd said the right thing. "I'm gonna see what else, if anything, I can find out about Kasdan." Scully could feel a sense of good humor drowning her trepidation. She was more than familiar with this side of him. She was about to issue her obligatory warning, which he would, of course, ignore. "Don't you feel, perhaps, your becoming overly immersed on the basis of one phone call?" "You know me, Scully." Mulder rocked back and forth on the balls of his office chair and chuckled. "I obsess; therefore I am." <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Mulder felt the freedom to call her later. The next day he stopped by and dragged her to lunch with him. He showed up, for no real reason, watching her work as they spoke lightly. Scully seemed to feel the same lack of constraint. She would pop down to the basement toward the end of the day to check on him. She left a note one morning that basically consisted of her itinerary for that day. And she called. They talked. She hadn't as of yet mentioned the I.O.U. Then again, since giving it to her, neither had Mulder. Admittedly, everything still wasn't perfect. A feeling of walking on egg shells sometimes settled over the partners. Neither wanted to step on the other's toes. More importantly, both of them wanted to keep the peace. Scully opened the basement door and stood in the door way, waiting to be acknowledged. It was early afternoon. He hadn't called her all day, hadn't made one of his usual unwarranted trips to the lab. She was just as guilty, she admitted to herself. She'd made it a practice in the last several days to make multiple trips to the X-files division, all of them unfounded. Unless you counted missing your partner, as a reasonable excuse to go six floors out of your way. Mulder was wearing thin wire frame glasses as he read over a file. He'd been leaning one hand on his head as he read, which left his haircut a bit ruffled. Mulder grinned at the sight of her. He'd taken off his suit jacket, and loosened his tie. "Tell me you've come to rescue me and take me away from all this." Scully's eyes swept around the office quickly before she returned his greeting. She never thought she'd miss the cramped office, but she did. "No, I came to tell you I'll be back tomorrow." "Would it be unprofessional of me to do a jig right now?" He'd made her laugh. Good. Mulder lifted up a small piece of paper and fanned it near his face. "I found this on my desk when I came in." The I.O.U. Scully lifted her shoulders as if it was a mystery. It wasn't. She'd placed it on his desk earlier. She'd dreamed of him the night before. Not erotica. This was something else. In the dream, she kept telling him she loved him. Over and over like a mantra. Scully wasn't sure that revelations could be found in dreams. She'd been haunted by the feeling of waking up alone. She lay wondering if he was asleep. Two risks. That was all she'd ever taken on him. Two small risks. A slight opening of her heart, ready to slam shut again at his rejection. She'd always assumed that the feelings were hers alone. She still believed that. But what if...To shut herself up, to lay her doubts to rest...to reach out...one last risk. He walked toward her, stopping just enough to keep the corner of his desk between them. He felt nervous. It was one of the first times he could ever remember feeling that particular sensation in her company. He intensified his own teasing bravado so that she wouldn't know. "You trying to cash this in?" He asked, gesturing to her with the I.O.U. Scully reached out and their fingers brushed as examined document he was holding. Hazel eyes danced at her from behind the glasses he wore. "That depends. What do you have in mind?" "Always a dangerous question." Mulder remarked lightly. He started to say more but his cell phone rang. His eyes were still merrily on hers as he reached in his jacket and brought the phone to his ear. They were both somewhat used to interruptions. "Don Juan, speaking." The smile instantly faded from him. "Hello Mr. Kasdan..." Just her luck. She had finally gathered the courage to play the I.O.U. card and Kasdan decided to stop playing ostrich and show his face again. Dana knew what would happen now. Five years as Mulder's partner, how could she not? Mulder made no attempt to turn his back to her or move outside and keep the conversation private. "Maybe you didn't remember that we had an appointment the other night." His eyes glanced to her as he continued. His way of telling her that he wasn't going to keep anything from her. "It wasn't practical for me to spend three hours in the rain either." Dana watched Mulder's jaw lock with whatever answer he received. He set his free hand on his hip and paced the office one way and then back again, listening intently. "Listen, you want my help?" Mulder growled. "You give me a time and an address that you'll be at in the next..." He checked his watch. "...two hours. This is the last offer your going to get. I don't like playing games." Kasdan apparently gave the right reply, Mulder's temper eased into a slow simmer. Mulder pivoted back to Scully and grabbed a pen from her desk. He looked around frantically for free piece of paper and then finding none, he scribbled on his hand. "1121 Ruoma Lane. Room 516." Mulder nodded, although Kasdan couldn't see him. "I'll be there." Mulder hung up slowly and then looked mournfully at his partner. Neither of them spoke. "I'd invite you along...." "I need to get back to the lab." She answered quietly. It was okay this time, she read it in his eyes. Mulder had accepted this reassignment as something she needed to do. Scully slowly started to take the I.O.U. back. "Maybe I better keep this." Mulder stopped her, taking her wrist lightly. "Tonight." The word was firm. "Tonight?" "Don't start going deaf on me, Scully." He commented wryly. "Tonight. 7:30." She suddenly understood. The experiment. He wanted to make it happen tonight. "It's unrealistic for you to make plans with me when you can't be sure..." "Yes or no?" It was yet more bravado. More nervousness. He felt like he didn't have the first clue what the hell he was doing. He was coming off as too abrupt. He just wasn't sure what to do to change it. Mulder was a lot of things. Stubborn. Overbearing. Complicated. But not a bully. Not until recently. Dana wasn't sure that she liked the change. "Fine." He exhaled loudly. Relief, then a nod. "Good." He grabbed for his jacket, slipped it over his arms and was off. Dana shook her head and for the second time since making agreeing to this experiment, wondered what she'd gotten herself into. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> He was late. Five minutes. But still late. Scully paced and then reprimanded herself. Mulder was the pacer, not her. The least he could have done is call and let her know where they were going. She couldn't remember the last time she'd spent an hour worrying about what she would be wearing. But what on earth did a romantic evening with Fox Mulder entail? For knowing him as well as she did, this was completely new ground. Lord. She shook her head at herself. She settled on a suit. Royal blue in color like her eyes. With strands of white lace over the jacket lapels and at her throat. Skirt or pants? Darn it Mulder. Why couldn't you have called? Pants were safer choice for an unknown location. Pearls earrings hung in small bunches from each ear. A matching bracelet fit loosely around her wrist. For the millionth time, Scully second guessed herself. Maybe a dress? She ran her fingers through her hair. She was making herself crazy with this. Just Mulder, she reminded herself. He'd seen her in her bath robe, for goodness sake. Makeup? Just a little. As usual. Around her eyes. Lipstick. Her eyes absorbed the reflection in the mirror. It was no use. She still looked like an F.B.I agent. Still like Mulder's partner. She wanted to dazzle him. To stun him. To show off a softer side. She'd intended for him to see her as a beautiful woman tonight, not Dr. Dana Scully, the partner he'd had for five years. With Aaron she always felt that her femininity was completely appreciated. Aaron made her believe that he was proud to have her on his arm. In short, she felt like a different person. Capable of having a life. A family. A husband.